We found love in a hopeless place
by whenvampiresdon'tsuck
Summary: "She didn't want me. He was starting to believe that he actually had a shot. A shot with her." Story about one of my OTPs, Delena. Everything from the pilot to 3x15 has happened.
1. You almost won me over

**A/N: This chapter is really short, but it's kind of like a test to see if I'm able to write DE, cause I find it extremly hard. Please review and tell me what you think****:))**

* * *

><p>He wanders slowly through the hallway.<p>

He feels numb, a kind of feeling he hasn't felt since…

_Since he broke Jeremy's neck. _

Damon stops at the edge of the stairway and takes a sip of the drink in his cold hand.

He can hear her outside; she is standing on the porch. Her heart beating fast and small sobs escaping her delicate lips.

_You have lost me forever._

It's the only thing spinning around in his mind at this moment.

But he never had her. So this won't matter.

She never became his to loose.

He stands still and waits for her knocking on the door.

A minute passes by and he wonders why she is just standing outside in the dark.

He goes to the door and swings it open.

"Well hello there, Elena"

He immediately sets up this façade when he sees her, he can't help it.

He doesn't think he can take much more. He isn't able to hurt more than he already does.

"How can you stand there and smile?" She quickly makes her way past him.

"Please, come in" He shuts the door with a bang and Elena quickly turns around and sets her eyes in him.

Eyes that are red from crying.

Eyes that see right through him.

_Everytime. _

"How could you do that?" She yells at him.

He doesn't answer; he just simply takes another sip from the scotch in his hand.

"How could you do that do Bonnie's mother? To Bonnie?"

She only whispers her best friends' name. It hurts to think about how she didn't even want to see her earlier.

"To save your life." He emphasizes every word to make her understand that he would do it all again if he had the choice.

"I don't want you to save my life if it means taking someone else's." She says and crosses her arms.

He moves two steps closer to her and can feel her heart race faster.

He smiles at her then and takes yet another sip.

"I will always choose you."

Her heart skips a beat when she hears those words for the second time and he gently places three fingers at her cheek.

She pulls away almost immediately and stares at the ground.

"You shouldn't have turned her."

"You shouldn't have told Elijah about his mother's plan." He spits the words, to make them hurt.

"I know" She answers and he can see tears starting to surface in her eyes.

They stand still for a minute or two.

"It doesn't change the fact that you ruined someone's life, that you turned an innocent woman into a vampire. To the thing her daughter hates the most…" She is so angry at him, and at herself at the same time.

But right now it's easiest to take it out on him. She knows it's selfish. But if she blames herself more at this point she will break down.

"I was saving your life!" He yells at her, his pupils dilating.

"It doesn't matter!" She yells back.

He turns away from her and starts walking towards the stairs.

"If you're mad at me, Elena…" He starts.

"You have to get over it."

And then he disappears upstairs and she lets herself cry for real.

* * *

><p>"Why didn't you tell her?"<p>

Damon looks up and sees Stefan standing in front of him, arms crossed.

"Is lurking in the background becoming your new hobby? Finished shaping your hair?"

Stefan stands totally still, not a muscle moving.

"You could have told her about the coin toss."

"Why bother?

"You love her." Stefan states.

"I think we established that earlier" Damon says tiredly.

He doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

"She didn't deserve what you said to her"

Damon loudly sighs and tiredly shakes his head

"You don't know the whole story, Stefan" He says angrily and walks towards his bedroom.

"I know that none of us deserve her."

Damon stops up for a second.

"I think you've established that too, brother."

* * *

><p>Elena doesn't remember getting home.<p>

She doesn't remember driving or opening the front door.

She only remembers his words and they way they got to her.

She defiantly remembers realizing how much she must have hurt him earlier the day when she said exactly the same.

He never admits it and he hardly shows it.

But Damon Salvatore gets hurt.

He _feels_.

She knows that he does, she can _see_ it.

Sometimes she thinks she's the only one who can.

Elena sighs as her body hits the bed.

Tears start to surface yet again.

She feels like a mess. Everything is a mess.

Bonnie won't see her, Bonnie's mother is a vampire, all the originals are still alive.

And then there is Stefan. And _Damon_.

_Messy_.

She wants to hate Damon for what he's done, hate him for turning Abby.

Hate him for snapping again.

But she can't hate him, isn't able too.

She knows why he snapped at the party, she should never have said what she did.

It was in the heat of the moment, everything became too intense.

_They were too close._

She can't hate him.

Right now the only one she hates, is herself.

* * *

><p>As soon as Damon is inside his bedroom he throws his drink at the wall.<p>

He smashes everthing he can see.

Tries to let out all his rage and frustration.

_She didn't want me._

He was starting to believe that he actually had a shot.

A shot with her.

He believed that everyone was fools when they said she would never respect him, or care for him, or want him.

_or love him_

Now he realizees that he was the biggest fool of them all, for believing otherwise.


	2. We all want love

He wakes up with the same feeling he went to bed with, numbness.

For a while he just lays in bed, watching the cracks in the ceiling.

When he finally manages to drag himself to the shower he sees all the damage he caused last night. Clothes and books and broken furniture are scattered around the floor.

He sighs, it doesn't matter.

He could have all the things in the world and it still wouldn't matter.

_All I want is something I can never have._

_Someone_

_Her._

All he pictures when the drops of water hits his face and body, is Elena crying because of what he said

What he's _done_.

Soon the drops mix with the two tears escaping his blue eyes.

* * *

><p>"I heard you last night" Stefan says when Damon enters the living room.<p>

"That sounds kind of kinky, little brother" He grins.

Stefan rolls his eyes.

"You were smashing your whole room"

"I'm starting to really miss rippah Stefan. He was so much more fun." Damon tells him while buttoning his black shirt.

"You always put up this façade. Your guilt is starting to consume you. Again"

Stefan wants to break through to him. He doesn't want his brother to be carrying around all the guilt for the both of them.

He doesn't want him to be all darkness.

Damon decides to ignore him.

"You're back on bunnies and I'm back being bad." He says.

"Life's good, brother" Damon pores himself a drink and walks over to the window.

"You can't fool me, Damon"

"You think it's easier if you're the bad guy. If she hates you. You think it will hurt less."

Damon doesn't say anything. He hates it when his brother tries to analyze him.

He hates it even more when he's right.

"It doesn't help. I've tried, remember."

"She doesn't hate me" He takes a sip and turns towards his brother.

"She is not able to hate either of us. Not now."

Stefan looks at him questioning.

"That's a problem." He finally says.

Damon walks towards the door.

"Whatever. I'm going to the grill."

* * *

><p>Elena walks inside the Mystic grill for the millionth time.<p>

But when she enters, she shivers for the first.

_Damon._

She freezes when she sees who he talks to.

Rebekah.

She can't help it, but the jealousy comes sneaking up on her immediately.

From the looks of it, they're having an intense conversation.

She notices their every move and with that she realizes that they most definitely knows that she is there and that she is staring at them.

It makes her blush.

And she doesn't like it.

Elena is a girl that almost never blushes, but in the presence of Damon she sometimes can't help it.

She is not jealous often either.

_He _brings it out.

And it _scares_ her.

Elena moves towards the bar and can see that they are standing closer now; Rebekah lays her hand on his left arm.

She doesn't want it to affect her, but it most certainly do.

When she turns around, he stands two feet away from her.

Alone. Smiling.

"Why are you talking to her?" She asks calmly, but directly.

He doesn't answer, just continues to smile. No, smirking is what he does.

"She tried to kill me. Again." She tries to be accusing, she tries to be strong.

"Mhm."

He walks closer. Almost too close. No, most defiantly too close.

She can feel her heart skip a beat, and she knows he does too.

She can't hide here; she can never hide from him.

Even though she sometimes tries her hardest.

"She is the enemy. Or have you forgotten that after your little…"

She stops there, doesn't know how to say it out loud.

"Are you jealous, Elena?" he grins at her.

She looks at the ground.

"It's..." He starts.

"…Cute"

She huffs at him.

Like she's twelve. Sometimes she thinks they both are.

"I'm still mad at you." She tells him and crosses her arms.

"So you're not over that yet?"

"What you did is…" She stares right at him now.

"Unforgivable." He says, not smiling any longer.

She doesn't say no. She doesn't say yes. She has no answer for that.

She knows she will forgive him, she always does. This is not the worst thing he has done.

But something is different now; she just doesn't know quite what.

"Have you seen Alaric today?"

She changes the subject as quickly as she can.

"That's why I'm here. He didn't come home last night. And he is not answering his phone."

He shakes his head.

"He is probably having breakfast with that hot psycho -blood- taking- doctor."

"Or maybe she had him for breakfast" His smirk is back.

She huffs yet again.

"Barbie Klaus asked the same question though."

She looks at him, surpriesed and worried.

"And you didn't find that strange?"

He raises his shoulders, like he doesn't care.

"Maybe"

"But by the way, Elena. I'm still mad at you too."

With that he's gone and Elena is left with even more questions than she had when she came in.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Elena"<p>

She almost loses her bag when he speaks.

"You scared me, Stefan."

"Sorry." His face is expressionless.

"Why are you here?" She asks, a little harsher than intended.

"I need to speak to you."

She unlocks the front door and invites him in.

He stops in the hallway; clearly he doesn't want to move further inside the house.

So Elena stops there too and crosses her arms.

Like some kind of protection.

Physically and emotionally.

"You didn't answer my calls yesterday." She says to him, in a low accusing voice.

"No."

She raises her eyebrows.

"Is that your answer?"

He nods silently.

"But now you need to talk to me?"

"Yes."

She waits, a little irritated and a lot curious.

"We had a coin toss, Damon and I."

He stops, looks at her.

"So?" She asks, doesn't understand where this is going.

"And I lost"

"It was supposed to be me. Supposed to be me who turned her."

She is confused.

"Damon did it instead. For me. He didn't want me to completely lose my humanity, he didn't want me to carry around even more guilt." He sighs and looks her right in the eyes.

To see a reaction. To maybe understand the extend of her feelings for his brother.

"He did it for me." He repeats.

And then he gets a reaction.

One he didn't want.

Something resembling relief, understanding, hope.

_And something that looks a lot like love. _


	3. I can barely say

"Are you here to yell at me too?" He sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes when Caroline comes bursting into the living room.

"I'm not really in the mood." He tells her while trying to wave her away.

She doesn't move a centimeter, just crosses her arms and give him one of her iciest looks.

"I don't care." She tells him, close to yelling.

"You're clearly in a bitch mood."

She hits him in the back of his head and sits down next to him.

"Do you know where I've been all night?"

He grins.

"I have so many good answers for that, I don't even know where to begin."

She narrows her eyes at him.

"Do you think this is funny?" Do you think this is the time for making jokes." She sighs overdramatically before continuing.

"I've been comforting Bonnie, trying to calm her, trying to make things better for her. Make all of this easier."

She stops, waits for him to start explaining.

Wait for any response, some sign of remorse.

_Anything_ at this point.

He just flips the pages in the book he's reading.

"You're not going to say anything?" she asks him impatiently.

Nothing.

"I was starting to believe you were changing. That you were starting to be _better_, to do better."

She takes a deep breath.

"I thought you were changing for Elena."

For a moment she thinks she can see sadness in his eyes.

But it's gone as fast as it came.

If it was ever there.

"How could you do that to Elena's best friend?"

"I know you don't care about Bonnie, but Elena…"

He throws the book at the table in front of them and cuts her off.

"I did it for Elena" He is tired of explaining it. Tired of talking about it over and over.

She looks down.

"It was the only way."

Caroline shakes her head.

"I refuse to believe that. It's always more ways, always other choices."

He moves up from where he's been sitting.

"I'm _really_ not in the mood."

Then the front door is shut with a bang and Stefan comes walking in.

"And here comes Dr. Phil to stir things up. Great"

Damon decides it's time for another drink. Definitely time.

"Hey, Stefan" Caroline says, much more gentle and careful then the way she spoke to Damon earlier.

She looks kind of scared.

He looks sad and upset.

"You sound nervous, Caroline. "

She looks at the ground.

"I just don't know what to expect."

Stefan doesn't answer.

"You're not the only one"Damon takes his drink with him and reaches for the book.

Caroline stands up and prepares to leave.

"By the way, Fabio. How could you sleep with Rebekah?"

Damon continues to read, when no one says anything he looks up.

"Are you talking to me?"

Caroline rolls her eyes at him and crosses her arms.

"I just thought Stefan was Fabio"

Stefan almost cracks a smile.

Almost.

"I slept with her because I can do whatever the hell I want to."

End of discussion.

"But she's an original." Caroline whines.

"You're one to talk." Stefan says and stares at the blonde vampire.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Klaus." Stefan simply says.

"Yeah, I heard you wore the dress he bought you." Damon adds and grins at her.

"It's not my fault he…" She stops and looks down at her shoes.

"That he fancies me" If she was still human she would be blushing by now.

Damon bursts out in laughter.

"So the biggest, most cruel vampire on earth fancies you?" Damon asks, still laughing.

"Is that so hard to believe?" She asks annoyed.

"Yes." Damon says honestly.

Stefan smiles at her.

One of those smiles that seems to only come out in her presence.

Then Caroline has to smile too.

Maybe now she knows what to expect.

* * *

><p>Elena's head is full of confusing and upsetting thoughts.<p>

She feels like her head's going to explode into a million pieces.

Pieces that can't be put together.

Alaric has still not come home, and he doesn't take her calls.

She is worried. Worried something has happened to him again.

He is slowly becoming a father figure.

Someone she can come to for advice, who helps her and cares for her.

Someone she can always count on.

She doesn't want to lose that, or lose him.

And then there's what Stefan told her.

What Damon did for him.

And what it meant for her to hear it.

She sighs, everything is so complicated.

She doesn't know what to do, how to deal with it all.

But she does know that she owes Damon an apology.

* * *

><p>Someone knocks on the door and drags Elena out of her daydreaming.<p>

_Damon_.

Her heart races immediately.

It gets hard for her to speak.

"Hey" She manages to whisper.

"I was just checking to see if Alaric was here." He shows no emotion.

Of course that's why he's here.

She was stupid for believing for a second that he was there for her.

"He's not" She tells him while opening the door wider.

"But you should come in; I have something to tell you." She is nervous.

He looks conflicted.

_He is._

A part of him wants to follow her inside and listen to every word escaping those delicate lips.

That's the part of him that loves talking to her; being with her, joke around with her.

Loves caring for her.

Another part of him wants to leave her there. Walk away and not look back.

That's the part of him that craves her, wants her.

_Loves her._

The part that can't take this anymore. This pain of having her close, but not close enough.

The hurt of having her, but not completely.

The first part wins his inner battle.

_He is never able to resist._

He follows her inside, they're both totally silent.

She sits down at the kitchen table.

He prefers to stand.

"I want you to listen, Damon. Let me talk."

"Really _listen_" She says and he just nods.

"I'm so sorry, Damon. Sorry for being so angry at you for turning Abby. For being mad at you for sleeping with Rebekah. " She takes a deep breath.

"But most of all I'm sorry for what I said to you at the ball. I didn't mean it; it was childish and wrong of me to say it just to end our argument. I'm sorry for taking you for granted; you have really been there for me. And I would have been lost, broken and a wreck without you."

She looks at him the whole time.

"I'm just really sorry, Damon"

He doesn't respond right away, just looks at her.

_Really looks_.

Pierces his way right through her.

Like no man has ever done before him.

"Why?"

"What changed?" He whispers.

"Stefan told me about the coin toss. How you sacrificed…" _your chance with me_.

"How you did It all for him. How you didn't want him to carry even more guilt."

She is standing now. Only a feet away from him.

A part of her wants to wrap her arms around him. Shield him from the world and all the pain in it. Take some of the guilt away and embrace him until he understands.

Understands just how much she cars for him and how much he means to her.

But she doesn't do it, because the other part of her is way too scared.

So afraid of what comes next.

"I want you to forgive me." She tells him sincerely.

"I do." He says like only he can.

"I've done much worse."

She shakes her head.

"It's not about what you've done now. It's about what I've done to hurt you." She moves a little closer to him.

Reaches out to take his hand.

He lets her hold it.

"Why do you care?" He suddenly asks.

"Why do you need my forgiveness?"

She closes her eyes and breathes out.

"I care about you. A lot"

She squeezes his hand.

"I'm your friend, Damon."

"Maybe I don't want to be your friend." His voice is desperate and he pushes her hand away.

"Maybe I want more" He only whispers now.

"I do want more, you know I do." He steps closer to her.

"Damon, I…"

"You can't"

She is crying now, he hates it when she does that.

She doesn't say anything.

She neither gives him hope nor totally shatters the little he has left.

"This…" He starts and places his hands at her wet cheeks.

"This is why I forgive you, but can't stop being mad at you."

They stand still like that for a while.

Before he removes his hands and walks away from her.


	4. Stay close

Damon stops when he comes outside.

He stands at the porch.

The same place he kissed her not so long ago.

Though it seems like forever.

Even for him, that has been around for more than a hundred years.

_Well, maybe that's the problem._

_You can't kiss me again._

_You have lost me forever._

_I love Stefan .It's always gonna be Stefan._

His mind is spinning.

_I'm your friend, Damon._

Just when he's gaining control of his head and is starting to move, she flings the door open with great force.

"Please don't go, Damon" She begs and pleads.

The emotion in her voice almost unbearable.

"Not like this." She is crying now and he has to turn around.

"Like what?" He asks.

"Angry?"

She tries to stop the tears, but fails massively.

They just keep coming.

"Like you're done. Like we…" She doesn't find the words.

"Stop it, Elena" He races his voice without even noticing.

"I accepted your apology. We're fine."

"But we're not." She sobs.

"We're not fine. You're still mad at me. I need you to not be mad." She takes a breath.

"I need you."

He moves closer to her.

"I can't stop being mad, when you don't even understand the biggest reason for why I'm still not over it"

She closes her eyes.

"You turned to Stefan. After everything, you turned to him. After he tried to drive you off a bridge, after he fed on you. You still turned to him." It's painful for him to say it out loud.

"You two went behind my back and made a plan to specifically keep me in the dark. You tricked me and you made him break my neck"

He stops, breathes out before continuing.

"I was there for you through all your Stefan drama. I tried to be everything you needed; I tried to bring him back to you. And I expected little in return. "

"Damon…" She whispers through the tears.

He ignores it.

"You stood right here and told me you didn't know what you would have done without me. For the first time I felt important. Like someone actually needed me, wanted _me_. And not my brother. You stood here, Elena. And gave me all that. Gave me some hope."

She reaches out to take his hand. He refuses to let her.

"And then, a few days later, you throw it all back in my face. You threw my_ love_ for you back at me."

"I didn't mean it, Damon. Please, believe me."

He ignores her. Wants to get everything of his chest.

"You made me feel like I cared too much. That I had become this liability. A liability you had to get rid off as soon as possible. You, who told me I was so close. That _I feel_. You suddenly said I shouldn't care so much. That everything I had been longing for and fighting for to feel for 146 years was a problem. "

"Everything came crashing down at that moment"

She's completely frozen. She hasn't thought this all through. Thought about just how in the wrong she was for saying what she did. How much it affected him. How it crushed everything good she wanted him to fight for.

_How it crushed him._

"I'm still mad at you because I love you, Elena."

"And that's s not a problem, Damon. You loving me are not a problem at all." She moves closer to him and places her hands on his cold neck.

He lets her touch him this time.

"It's..."

"Wrong." He whispers.

"No!" She says firmly.

"Not at all. Don't say that." Her eyes are pleading him.

"I don't want you to feel guilty" She tells him.

"I don't understand what you want me to feel, what you want me to do, to be."

She sighs, she doesn't really know either, she just knows that she can't lose him.

That she _needs_ him.

They stand still for a while, her hands on his neck and his eyes staring right at her.

Staring at eyes that are still wet.

Eyes that begs him to stop this.

Stop being mad.

To go back to how things were before. But that he can't do.

He doesn't want to go back to being only her friend.

To feel like she only wants him around to fix something, save someone.

"You need to let go off me, Elena."

She let her hands slide away from him and looks at the ground.

"Not like that."

She stares at him now, confused and terrified for what comes next.

"That's not what I meant. You need to really let go."

He turns away from her, isn't able to look her in the eyes right now. See the hurt and pain in those deep brown eyes.

"You need to stop reaching aout and grab me when you feel lonely or you need something. You thought I was getting too controlling and too caring, so now I let you off the hook. I need you to let go. To stop."

"Just stop this." Its hard for him ti say this out loud, to not show the raw emotions inside him at this point.

He closes his eyes when he hears her small sobs.

She can't believe that he is asking her to let him go.

_She can't believe any of this._

It's like a bad dream she want to wake up from.

But unfortunately it isn't, this is her _reality_.

"Look at me, Damon" Her voice is starting to crack with emotion.

"Look at me and tell me you want to let go of me, that you want me to do the same."

He doesn't turn around.

"Look at me!" Her voice louder and full of pain.

He turns around and walks towards her.

"Why do you want to me to hold on? Why can't you just let go off me?" He asks, really needs an answer.

"Because I need you."

He moves closer.

"I care about you, Damon"

He comes even closer.

Her heart nearly stops.

"I…" She starts.

But she get's interrupted when a car pulls up the driveway and Alaric gets out.

"Hey, guys" He says and comes towards them.

Elena quickly turns away and tries to erase all evidence of her tears and sobbing.

"Where have you been?" Damon asks, a little annoyed.

"It's a long story." Alaric tells him and sighs.

"Short version, Meredith Fell is a psycho."

Damon rolls his eyes at him.

"Told you so."

"But she's not the murderer."

Alaric looks at both Elena and Damon.

"She believes strongly that it's Tyler Lockwood."


	5. Pull of the eye

"It's not him!" Caroline shouts at them.

"Tyler has done a lot of things, I know that. But he would never kill someone."

Damon rolls his eyes at her for being so naive.

"He's not the most stable guy" He tells her, and she huffs at him loudly.

Stefan and Elena sit silently in the couch.

Both thinking about something far from this.

"Meredith says someone saw Tyler's car closely nearby the place Brian was found" Alaric says, for the third time this evening.

"And why should we listen to her?" Caroline yells for the fourth.

"She has a point, Ric. Meredith did shoot the cappuccino machine next to you." He smiles.

"She's kind of crazy"

Alaric crosses his arms.

"I'm not arguing that. But she has been investigating this, and her theory is Tyler"

Caroline huffs once again at the mentioning of his name.

"Tyler didn't do it! He wouldn't…" She says and looks to the ground.

She can't fully blame them for thinking it, when she herself has had her doubts.

"Help me out here, Elena" Caroline whines annoyed.

Elena doesn't answer, just stares out in the thick air.

"Elena!"

"Oh, I'm sorry…What did you say?" She looks at Caroline and tries to smile.

"Where's your head at?" Caroline asks her and rolls her eyes.

Elena looks over at Damon and feels warmth spread to her cheeks.

Her head is still at the porch.

His too, she can see it in his eyes.

His blue eyes that pierces their way right through her, so powerful that it makes her shiver.

His eyes tell her that he's dying to finish their conversation.

It scars her, because she doesn't know what she would have said if Alaric hadn't come.

_She doesn't know how she feels anymore._

After everything, it's too difficult, too much, too hard to feel anything.

It's too_ big_.

That's what she wants to tell him with her eyes.

But he's not looking at her anymore.

He's talking to Alaric and Caroline is yelling.

But she can't hear them.

She has blocked them out.

She has blocked the world out.

She steers her eyes to the left and looks right into Stefan's.

He is staring at her.

His face filled with sadness and hopelessness.

Like he has understood something she hasn't discovered yet.

_And he has._

Something about love. About Damon. And about endings.

_Their ending._

That's what Stefan sees when he looks at her.

Elena has to look away from him.

She can't feel guilty on top of it all.

She can't let herself tell Stefan that the two of them will be alright and together again.

When she's starting to doubt they ever can.

"I am going to Klaus!" Caroline yells at Damon and it drags Elena out of her own thoughts.

It looks like it has the same effect on Stefan.

Caroline storms out.

Alaric is already gone, Elena didn't even notice.

Damon throws his hands up in the air.

"I don't think that's her best idea to date" Damon says to his brother and Elena.

Both now standing, looking worried and helpless.

"Maybe it's best I go after her" Stefan then says and grabs his brown leather jacket.

Suddenly the whole atmosphere in the room changes.

Damon and Elena are left all alone.

The air is filled with tension.

With things they said and things they didn't say.

_With everything Elena fears, but at the same time welcomes. _

* * *

><p>"What have you done to him now?" Caroline storms inside Klaus's enormous living room.<p>

"Well hello there, sweetheart" Klaus and Rebekah are standing by the fireplace.

They've been having a serious conversation by the looks of it.

But when Caroline Forbes comes crashing in, Klaus has to smile.

"What are you doing here?" Rebekah spits.

Caroline crosses her arms and tries to make herself look ten times bigger than she is.

She fails.

"Go upstairs" Klaus tells his sister.

She gives him an icy look.

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Go." He repeats and after a minute of staring at each other, she goes.

"Did you tell Tyler to kill the council?" Caroline asks when they are alone.

"Can I get you something to drink, love?" He pours himself a glass of bourbon while ignoring her question.

"Don't call me that" She manages to whisper, afraid of the reaction.

He simply smiles.

It gives her courage to ask again.

"Did you tell him to kill them?"

He doesn't smile anymore.

"Please, sit" He points at the gigantic couch and sits down.

"I prefer…" She starts.

"I prefer standing" She tries to keep her voice steady.

He defiantly doesn't smile anymore.

"I haven't told Tyler to do anything" He tells her, annoyed and bored.

"If he's out killing people…" He takes a sip before continuing.

"Then that's all Tyler"

The smirk is back.

"You look ravishing today." He wants to change the subject.

"I don't believe you." She tells him.

"Well, I think you do" He raises his glass at her.

"Not about that. I don't believe what you said about Tyler."

Klaus snares at the mentioning of his name yet again.

"If he is killing people, it's all because of you" She moves towards the couch.

She wants to pretend that she's not afraid of him.

But if she was human her pulse would be raising now.

He stands up and comes towards her.

"Isn't it awful to have a boyfriend without free will?" He asks her when he's standing so close he can touch her.

"I think it beats having you for a boyfriend."

She knows right away she took it too far this time.

His fangs come out and he grabs her hard.

And suddenly Stefan comes in full speed and pushes him away.

Klaus falls at the ground, surprised and angry.

"Run!" Stefan yells at Caroline.

She does, and he is close behind her.

Klaus screams angrily after them.

While Rebekah stands laughing at the staircase.

* * *

><p>Damon can feel the change of atmosphere when they're alone again.<p>

He looks over at Elena, and can tell that she's nervous.

In a strange way, he is to.

She is always able to make him feel a little less vampire.

_And a lot more human._

"I want us to finish the conversation" He whispers to her and walks over to her.

He stops right in front of her.

"I need answers"

She nods.

She is so afraid though.

She doesn't know if she's able to give him the answers he wants.

He is so afraid to.

Doesn't know if this is a conversation he will be able to handle.

_They are both too afraid._


	6. Never let me go

No one wants to go first.

No one wants to be the first to say something.

Damon thinks it should be Elena; it was him that asked her a question.

An important one.

A big, terrifying life changing one.

_Why do you want to me to hold on? Why can't you just let go off me?_

Elena knows it should be her, that she has to say something.

_Anything._

"You're very important to me, Damon" She says and walks over to him.

"Okay" He answers.

She raises her eyebrows.

"Okay?"

"How do you want me to react?" He asks her quietly.

She hasn't got an answer for that.

She just wants everything to be alright between them.

No anger and resentment. No harsh words and icy looks.

Just for them to be like they were while Stefan was gone.

_Friends and partners. _

But maybe she has to realize that it's gone. That he can't be just her friend. And that they probably never were only that.

_It was always something more under the surface. _

Looks across the room, small and intense touches, and many unspoken feelings.

She sighs and looks at him.

"I don't know…" She whispers.

"You don't know anything" He pours himself a drink.

"I do know that I wouldn't have survived the last months without you" She says.

"I know that I care about you, a lot. I know that you slowly have become one of the most important people in my life." She can feel tears starting to surface.

He takes a sip of his drink and breathes in, before he looks at her.

"But why shouldn't I let you go?"

* * *

><p>"That was incredibly stupid, Caroline" Stefan yells at her.<p>

"I know." She whispers.

"He is dangerous and you just decided to walk right into his living room and insult him. Stupid!"

"I know, Stefan!" She wants to cry.

He tries to calm down.

"It probably ranks at my top ten." She tells him.

He gives her a questioning look.

"My list of the top ten most stupid things I've done." She explains to him.

He has to smile then.

"What's number one?" He asks her curiously.

"I think it's a tie between getting involved with Damon and wearing that awful pink sweater in third grade."

Stefan laughs and she has to join him.

"Very insightful, Caroline." He tells her.

"What would yours be?" She asks lightly.

He looks at the ground and the smile is vanished from his face.

Like it was never there.

"Trying to drive Elena off the bridge maybe" He doesn't look at her when he says it.

"Or turning my brother."

Caroline regrets asking when she sees his devastated face.

"I shouldn't have asked, I'm sorry" She gently touches his arm.

"It's okay" He tells her sincerely.

"But I should probably have more like a top 100."

"Shouldn't we all?" She smiles at him.

"Thank you for coming to my rescue by the way. I can't believe I didn't tell you that right away, very ride of me."

"You're very welcome" He sighs.

"I told you once I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

With those words she lays her arms around him and embraces him.

"Thank you, Stefan" She whispers.

He thinks this is one of the most genuine and humanlike moments he has had since coming back.

And it means the world to him.

So he hugs her back.

Let's himself feel something again.

Something other than guilt and sadness.

When they part Caroline gives him her biggest smile.

"You and Elena will be fine. She will see the change in you" She says to him.

"I don't think so" He sighs.

"I think she is in love with Damon" He only whispers his brother's name.

It's painful to say those words out loud.

It's even more painful that Caroline doesn't argue it.

* * *

><p>She can't pinpoint to the moment he became so important to her.<p>

To the point when she found herself lower her guard and let him in.

She doesn't know when or how he became the _one_ she couldn't bear to ever loose.

He snuck up on her.

Found his way under her skin, and stayed there.

But now he is starting to slip through her fingers.

And she can't bring herself to say the words that will end this.

That will prevent her from losing him.

_She can't tell him she loves him. Not yet. _

She thinks she might, but it's all too scary, too real and too soon after everything.

"I can't change, if that's what you want me to." He says and breaks through the silence.

"I can't be Stefan."

He believes it's what she wants, to transform him into the old Stefan.

The Stefan who was good and pure.

_The one she loved. _

She has still not answered his question.

And this is what he thinks is the answer.

He shouldn't let go because she _needs_ him to take Stefan's place, be another version of him.

Because she thinks she has lost the old one for good.

_He doesn't know how completely wrong he is._

"I don't won't you to" She says in between tears.

"I don't want you to be anything other than you." She tries to reassure him.

"I like you just the way you are" She moves closer to him and takes his hand.

"So answer me."

"Why isn't caring about you enough?" She whispers.

"I need you to give me something more." He tells her fragile and vulnerable.

He turns away from her, but doesn't let go of her hand.

She feels like this is it.

So she lays her hands at his neck and turns his head towards her.

And when their eyes locks she closes the gap between them

Her lips crash against his.

At first he's a little taken aback, but he quickly kisses her back with great force.

_This really feels like something._


	7. My heart took over

****Sorry for the late update, been super busy! Please read and review :)) ****

* * *

><p>He moves his hand down to her lower back.<p>

She moves hers to his chest.

Their lips move in sync.

Kissing him feels as natural as breathing.

It's magnetic.

It's so incredibly _right_.

When they're standing there as melted as one, she wonders why she hasn't done this sooner.

Made these choices a long time ago.

Kissing her makes him feel alive again.

It makes him feel like he actually has a beating heart.

A heart that would be racing as crazy at this moment.

He kisses her more eagerly now.

And she is starting to wonder where this is going.

But then suddenly they are not alone anymore.

Damon quickly pulls away from her when he notices.

Caroline and Stefan are standing at the living room opening.

Elena looks down at the floor and blushes.

Damon isn't able to get a word out; he doesn't know what to say for the first time in a long while.

Stefan looks lost.

Heartbroken and crushed.

But most of all Stefan looks resigned.

He disappears up the stairs with no word and his face as he goes breaks Elena's heart a little.

"I have to go talk to him" She says and squeezes Damon's hand.

She does it reassure him.

_It's you_.

_You're the one who have my heart._

When she's gone, Damon looks over at Caroline.

She has never been silent this long in her entire life, human or vampire.

"So how was good, old Klaus?" Damon asks her.

She crosses her arms, doesn't answer.

"No judging please" He tells her.

"I'm not" She says and closes her eyes.

"I just…" She starts.

"I just whished Stefan didn't have to see that"

Damon can't argue with that.

* * *

><p>She slowly makes her way up the stairs.<p>

Stairs she has climbed more times than she can count.

But this is different, something is very different.

She is walking up her to say a goodbye, to end a chapter.

To walk away from something that once was a very big and important part of her life.

_Maybe the biggest. _

Her relationship with Stefan.

When she's standing outside his bedroom, she starts to get nervous.

She doesn't know what to expect to walk in on, in which state he will be.

She gently knocks the door and pushes it open.

He is standing by the window, totally still.

"Hey…" She whispers.

She's been in his room a hundred times.

But again, it's different.

She feels like an intruder, a stranger.

He doesn't turn around to greet her, she didn't expect it either.

She really doesn't know what to expect from anything, anymore.

"I'm sorry, Stefan" She says intently.

"Not sorry for kissing Damon, but that you had to see it" She wants to make it clear to him.

Clear that she's not guilty or sorry for kissing his brother. She just didn't want him to see it, to have to deal with it all.

Especially not now, when he is still so fragile.

He turns around then and walks towards her.

"I knew it was coming" He tells her.

"Doesn't mean it didn't hurt" He adds and looks at her.

"You could rip my heart out and it would hurt less."

His words make her cringe.

"Please don't say things like that" She says.

"How do you want me to react?" he asks, a little louder now.

"I don't know" She admits quietly.

No one says anything more then, they stand in totally silence.

Just staring at the ground and sometimes each other.

"I still love you, I don't think I can just stop" He says and breaks through the intense silence.

She can feel tears starting to come.

"I love you too, Stefan. But…" She says.

"But you love him more?"

She's taken aback by his question, even though she really shouldn't.

"I…" She hasn't got a good answer for that.

Because she's not entirely ready to use the word _love_ yet.

She starting to feel she said it too soon with Stefan, that she believed it was love long before it really was.

And she can't do that again.

_Because this is different. _

_Damon and what they share is different. _

It's bigger, scarier, more magnificent and passionate.

_More real_.

Closer to love, but still not quite there.

_It's all she could ever want._

That's why she's not ready to tell Stefan that she loves Damon.

Not ready to tell anyone.

But still she loves Stefan, it's important that he knows that.

That she wants to help him when he needs it, bring him up when he's down, to be his friend.

"There is something I have to tell you." It's been on her mind for a while.

It's difficult.

Somewhat painful for her.

And it will be for him.

"When you left I was heartbroken. The only thing I wanted, was to have you back" She breathes in before continuing.

"I was desperate, reckless, and sometimes very stupid. And Damon was there for me every step on the way. He went along with everything I said. He held my head above water." She stops and looks at him.

He is listening intently to every word escaping her lips.

"Then one day I woke up and found out just why I was so desperate to get you back. It wasn't just because I love you. It was because I felt guilty. Guilty because I felt gratitude towards you. I was grateful for you leaving. Cause that meant that Damon could live."

She is crying now, tears streaming down her face.

She still feels guilty sometimes.

_That day was the end of them, end of her and Stefan._

"I realized that you never coming back weren't as bad as Damon dying. I realized that I needed him more…" She only whispers it in between tears.

"I'm so sorry, Stefan." This is one of the hardest things she has done.

"I know." He only says.

Her words hurt him, of course they do.

He will always love her and she loves his brother.

Suddenly he truly understands how Damon has had it, how he felt.

"I just need to be alone now" He says and opens the door for her to leave.

* * *

><p>Damon walks around in circles with a glass of bourbon in his hand.<p>

_He is actually nervous._

Another human feeling Elena brings out of him.¨

She has been upstairs with his brother for a while now.

He takes a sip and tries to feel confident.

Confident about what Elena feels for him, about what they just shared.

"You really love her, don't you?" Caroline asks him.

He has forgotten that she's still there.

He nods slowly.

"I kind of do." He tells her.

"Can I tell you a secret, Blondie?"

Caroline laughs, a little surprised.

"You want to tell me a secret?" She asks.

"You're the only one here." He smirks.

"You can tell me." Caroline says and smiles at him.

"I think she might break my heart."

Those words break Caroline's heart a little; she's never seen this side of him.

_So vulnerable._

It most defiantly breaks Elena's heart, who is standing in the hallway listening to it all.

His words make her remember that Stefan is not the only brother who is fragile.


	8. Different

_I think she might break my heart._

Elena takes a deep breath.

What if she will? What if she does break his heart?

That's something she can't live with. Breaking _his_ heart, the man who never felt wanted or needed.

Never felt _loved. _

The most vulnerable and loving man she has ever met. Who will do anything for her and love her to pieces as long as she lives.

Frankly a man she doesn't deserve.

Maybe never will.

It scares her, the immensity of it all.

_He will love her for an eternity. _

She can't grasp around it, she can't let herself think about it.

What is forever for her? For them?

How can she ever be deserving of that, an eternal love like his?

She decides it there and then; she can never break his heart.

It is not an option, not a possibility at all.

She just hopes she can follow through.

"Hey, guys"

Damon locks his eyes with hers as soon as she enters the living room.

He looks so fragile in that moment, that she just wants to run over to him and throw her arms around him.

And never ever let go.

Instead she stands still, waits for someone to say something.

_Anything._

Caroline walks pass her and squeezes her arm.

Doesn't say a word, just gives her a look it's hard for Elena to read.

It's like a warning or an advice.

Don't hurt him, it will break him.

Something like that.

A lot like that.

Because Caroline walks out of that house knowing that if Elena breaks Damon's heart, that's the end. Not only for him, but for them both.

If she hurts him, he will break, they both will.

_And that will be the end of the Damon and Elena she knows. _

* * *

><p>They are alone again.<p>

In silence, again.

"You were gone a long time." Damon clears his throat.

Tries to be nonchalant about it, fails massively.

It brings out her smile.

"Are you jealous?" She teases and moves closer to him.

"It's cute" She tells him.

He huffs at her.

They are twelve years old again.

"I don't get jealous, Elena" He grins at her.

"If you say so" She moves away from him again, goes over to sit in the coach.

"Then I guess you don't care about what me and Stefan talked about" She says it calmly and indifferent. Even though she wants to tell him.

She wants to tell him badly.

She doesn't look at him, just plays with her hair.

He looks at her.

Studies her every move, listens to every heartbeat. Every little change in her heart rhythm, every stray of hair that slips through her fingers.

"Maybe I get a tiny bit jealous sometime" He says.

"But only with you" He adds.

She smiles at him and pats the pillow next to where she's sitting.

"Come sit with me."

He comes over to her, sits down next to her. His leg touching the side of hers.

He lays his hand over hers and makes small patterns there with one of his fingers.

"You kind of scared me. Still do I guess" He sighs.

"Look at me, Damon." She whispers.

He doesn't, too afraid of what he will see in her eyes when he does.

She pulls her hand away from his and places both her hands at his cheeks.

It feels familiar. It feels right.

"Please, look at me."

He does then, faces his fears one more time.

Her eyes tell him he shouldn't be scared, that things will work out.

Her eyes give him hope.

"I needed to talk to Stefan" She begins, still holding his face in her hands.

"I told him that we can never be together again. I told him how I one day realized that I needed _you_. That I felt grateful towards him for leaving me and everything else behind. Because that meant that you could live and that I could still have you in my life. And everything got so clear that day, but still so messy. But something made sense, something was so right."

She stops.

"You." She simply says while looking into his blue eyes.

He blinks, can't fully believe what she's telling him.

"You need _me_?" He whispers.

"Yes." She answers and kisses his lips lightly.

It breaks her that he has to ask her that. It breaks her that she can see how fragile he is about this.

About someone actually needing him. Wanting him and not his brother.

Katherine never loved him, his father never did.

And he truly believes that she never will.

The only person that loved him unconditionally was Stefan. But Stefan was also the person that got the love from others. The person that Damon felt was better than himself, more deserving.

The man in front of her has gone so long believing that he's not worthy, that he is someone that no one can ever love.

She _knows_ she can.

She might even already love him.

"Of course I do, Damon" She lays her head on his chest.

"No one has ever needed me like that" He tells her honestly.

The only person who has ever needed him is sitting upstairs, broken and alone.

It makes him shiver, it almost makes him cry.

"Do you think Stefan will be okay?" He asks her and kisses the top of her head.

"I hope so" She whispers and a tear makes its way down her cheek.

"I really hope so."

They sit in silence for a while, both thinking about his brother.

"I know your secret" She suddenly says and sits up to look at him.

"What secret?" He asks confused.

She closes her eyes, thinking that maybe telling him is not a good idea.

She takes two deep breaths and looks at him.

He looks confused and worried.

_He looks scared._

"That you think I'm going to break your heart" She takes his hand, almost like a reflex.

He sighs.

"So you heard that..?"

She nods.

"I'm just scared you're going back to him. Everyone in my life has always preferred _him_." he tells her vulnerably.

"I choose _you_" She emphasizes every word and squeezes his hand tightly.

He kisses her then, long and all consuming.

Kissing Stefan was always good and passionate.

But this is different.

It's like her whole body is on fire.

His lips touching her makes her shiver and feel warmth at the same time.

_This is different._

When they pull apart she lays her head on his rock hard chest and cuddles up aside him.

She closes her eyes and drifts away as he slips his fingers gently through her hair.

And for the first time in a long time it feels like everything's going to be okay.


	9. A reason to be alive

When Stefan Salvatore goes down the stairs in the morning, he's searching his mind for reasons to be alive.

He can't find any.

The love of his life wants his brother.

The same brother he sacrificed all for to save.

He knows it is selfish to sometimes wish he hadn't left with Klaus.

But deep down he knows it wouldn't have mattered.

Elena would have fallen for Damon either way.

Stefan sighs as he enters the living room.

And then his heart sinks by the sight that greets him there.

Elena and Damon asleep at the coach.

Her head is resting on his shoulder and his head upon hers.

Her hand tightly around his.

They look so peaceful.

You would think seeing your ex girlfriend on the coach with your own brother wouldn't help on your pessimistic outlook on life, but it does for Stefan.

Seeing them is the first reason he finds for living.

_Happiness and love._

The possibility of it all.

That he can get what they share someday.

The two people on the coach look so blissful. Like nothing can go wrong in the world if they just have each other.

And that makes Stefan Salvatore want to live again.

* * *

><p>She wakes up before him.<p>

She tilts her head up to look at him, still with his hand in hers.

He looks so at peace in that moment.

_So human._

Suddenly he smiles, his eyes still closed.

"Good morning, Sunshine" He whispers and opens his eyes.

To his surprise, she has tears in hers.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry." He sits up and removes the tears with his fingertip.

But more just start to come.

"Why are you crying, Elena?" He asks while fear is creeping up on him again.

_She regrets it, she's having doubts. She realized this was all wrong. _

His mind is spinning.

The next possibility worse than the last one, and so on.

She is shaking her head and tries to make the tears stop.

She doesn't really know why she's crying.

The sight of him sleeping peacefully was just so…

_Beautiful. _

"What if I do break your heart?" She whispers and looks at him.

"Elena…" He sighs.

"I trust you." He tells her sincerely.

"I'm just so scared" She mumbles in between sobs.

"Scared of loosing you, scared of hurting you. Of you hurting me… "

He grabs her hands and kisses her lightly.

"I'm terrified too."

"But I trust you" He repeats.

"Do you trust me?" He asks her quietly.

She nods and finally stops crying.

"I do."

She strokes his cheek carefully and smiles at him.

"I'm silly" She lets out a little laugh.

He laughs too.

"Let's just take one step at a time, okay? We don't have to rush things." He says in all seriousness.

"Sounds like a plan." She says and kisses him.

She is glad he wants to take it slow, it's what she needs. She thinks it's what they both need.

Because this is big.

_Them being together_.

It's bigger than the both of them.

"Are you hungry?" He asks her.

She nods against his chest.

"Come." He's up in super speed and offers her his hand.

"I'll make you pancakes."

* * *

><p>Elena Gilbert is smiling the whole car ride home.<p>

And she really can't stop smiling when she enters the kitchen and sees Alaric.

"Hey"

He turns around.

"Why are you all chipper?" He asks her.

"I'm just happy" She tells him.

She goes over to the fridge and pours herself a glass of milk.

"Not that you have to tell me everything and let me know where you are at all times." Alaric starts and sighs.

"But I get worried when you're out all night and don't tell me, especially when I think about your history."

She nods and takes a deep breath.

"I'm sorry" She tells him and gives him a long hug.

"I was with Damon" She says quickly when they part.

"Eh…You what?" He asks confused, he thought they weren't on fully speaking terms.

"We were just…Sleeping." She looks down at the floor and feels her cheeks turning red.

"Eh…"

She can see that Alaric is uncomfortable.

"That's good." He stutters.

She takes sip after sip from the milk glass, because she doesn't know what to say next.

"Just be careful with Damon" He tells her worrying.

"I will." She smiles at him.

"He's your best friend, Ric" She adds.

"I know. But he's also a dick."

She laughs then, thinking back on when she stood in this kitchen telling her aunt that Damon was an ass.

The memory of Jenna stings a little in her heart and she wants to go hug Alaric again.

They've both lost so much, so many people.

She sighs and sits down.

"Are you guys like…" He sighs.

"Together now?"

Elena doesn't know the answer to that one herself.

Are they?

They agreed on taking it slow, but she knows that she wants to be with him.

At the same time she's not sure what kind of couple they will be.

"Are you hungry?" Alaric asks her and drags her away from her thoughts.

She looks at all the food he has made; it's a meal for an army.

And even though she is full after all the pancakes Damon fed her, she hasn't got the heart to tell him no.

"Starving" She tells him and smiles.

"Let's have a family breakfast"

He smiles back at her and takes out two plates.

They get interrupted when the phone rings.

"Hey, Liz." Alaric says when he takes it.

"Okay. Yes. You're kidding, right?

His eyes are narrowed and Elena looks at him worried.

"Yeah, bye"

He lays the phone down, with brows furrowed.

"It was the sheriff." He begins.

"She found the killer."

Elena stands up, curious and a little afraid.

"It was Carol Lockwood"

Elena gasps in shock.


	10. A little game

"Hey, guys." Damon comes walking inside the kitchen.

"Hey, Elena" He says and pats her head lightly.

She furrows her brows. She expected a kiss, or at least a hug.

"Good to see you"

He says it like they didn't just spend the night together on a coach holding hands or like they didn't feed each other pancakes less than an hour ago.

There's an awkward tension in the room until Alaric breaks through the silence.

"You can stop pretending, Damon"

Damon looks at him, confused.

"I know you two spent the night together."

Damon coughs awkwardly.

"Well…Now that the cat is out of the bag, let's move on." He tells them and throws an apple up in the air.

"Have you talked to Liz?" Alaric asks as Damon catches the apple.

"Yes, turns out Carol is quite the nutcase." He says and sits down.

"Why did she do it?" Elena asks.

"Some of the members of the council were starting to get impatient and wanted to do something about the vampire problem in the town." He rolls his eyes.

"Like we're a problem" He says and Alaric crosses his arms.

"Please continue" He tells Damon impatiently.

"And somehow that Brian guy found out that Tyler was an hybrid and wanted to do something about it. So long story short, Carol claims she started killing them to protect her son and her position in the community."

Elena's brows are still furrowed.

"Do you think she was compelled? Because Carol doesn't strike me as a killer, no matter what the motive is."

She feels like it is something wrong with all of this.

"I don't know." Damon says and sighs.

"It's possible"

"We have to hope that the killing stops with Carol behind bars" Alaric says and starts walking to the stairs.

"I don't understand why she tried to kill me though. I'm on her side." He says and walks upstairs.

Elena looks at him go, a little worried.

Then she feels Damon's arms around her waist.

"Finally alone" He says and kisses the top of her head.

She lays her hands upon his arms and closes her eyes.

"Why did you pretend we hadn't already seen each other today?" She asks him curiously.

He laughs a little.

"I didn't know if you wanted Alaric to know. I thought you maybe were embarrassed about it."

She let's go of him and turns around to face him.

"I'm not embarrassed about _us_" She tells him sincerely.

He kisses her lightly and smiles at her.

"I want to take you on a date" He tells her and strokes her cheek.

She giggles; immediately starts to wonder how a date with him would be.

She lays her hands on his cheeks and kisses him again.

"Are you taking me to the Grill?" She asks him when they part.

"No! Are you ridiculous?" He grins.

"We're going to Atlanta."

* * *

><p>He carries her on his back out to the car, opens the door for her and kisses her through the window.<p>

She feels like the luckiest girl in the world.

"Why Atlanta?" She asks him when they're on the road.

"That's where it all began" He tells her and smiles.

Yeah, defiantly the luckiest girl in the world.

"You saved me" She squeezes his hand.

She thinks back on that day. He is right, that's when it all began. That day she started seeing him as something more than Stefan's big brother. She started seeing him as a friend, as someone she could trust. And after that day he has saved her more times than she can remember. And he has saved her in more ways than one.

Now sitting in this car again, he has not only won her trust, but her whole heart.

"You saved me too" He says.

He thinks back on it too, how he had started seeing her like something else than his little brother's girlfriend. He saw how she smiled and laughed and how she used to be before her parents death. He saw a girl with so much to offer the world. To offer _him_. And when she saved him he realized just how _good_ this girl is. How much kindness and courage she posses. He saw what she was willing to do for her friends, and thought that he would be honored to be one of them.

And now sitting in this car, he is so happy he made the decision to visit his brother in Mystic Falls.

They laugh, they sing along to the radio, they make out while he's driving, they make fun of each other, she never let's go off his hand and he watches her more than the road.

She gets an overwhelming feeling of pure happiness. And realizes that she could do this forever.

_Forever._

"Do you want me to become a vampire?" She suddenly asks him.

He looks at her, taken aback by her question.

"Where did that come from?" He asks her quietly.

"I was just thinking about us and how I could see myself being with you _forever_." She whispers the last part.

He quickly pulls the car over and turns around to face her.

He locks eyes with her and his eyes bores their way through hers while he strokes her cheek.

"I want you to be _you_. Vampire or not, I'll love you all the same."

He kisses her.

"Forever."

She can feel tears starting to surface in her eyes.

"But being with you forever, means I'll have to turn." She tells him.

He shakes his head.

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to" He assures her.

She smiles then, still tears in her eyes.

"I'm not sure what I want anymore" She sighs.

"Let's not talk about it now, you can think about it for as long as you need. We can have this conversation anytime you want." He leans over to kiss her.

"Let's have fun again" She tells him and he kisses her nose.

"Good plan"

When they start driving again, the thoughts of being a vampire leaves her mind immediately.

They continue laughing and singing.

"We've had some laughs in this car" He says.

She nods and adds another.

"This car holds a lot of memories." He tells her.

"You can use it to a lot, you know"

She furrows her brows and looks at him.

"Like what?" She asks skeptically.

He places one of his fingers over his lips.

"That's a secret."

Her brows are still furrowed and her head is full of questions and pictures she really don't want to have there.

"Let's play I've never" She suddenly suggests.

"What are we, twelve?"

He grins.

"It's a good way to get to know each other a little bit better." She says and tries to convince him.

"We don't have anything to drink." He then tells her.

"You can honk the horn when you've done something."

He laughs at her and shakes his head.

"And you will?" He asks.

"I haven't done so many things" She says.

He rolls his eyes at her.

"Okay, I'll sing a line from the national anthem."

He lets out a laugh.

"That's very…Random"

She ignores him.

"I've never worn pink or purple" She starts.

He honks the horn and she sings a line.

"It was the 80's" He tries to explain when she's not able to stop laughing.

"My turn, I've never kissed a girl"

He of course honks and to his surprise and delight she sings.

"Sweet"

"It was truth or dare." She tells him and he grins.

"I've never had sex in this car." She says quickly.

She doesn't sing and to her surprise he doesn't honk.

"Really?" She asks.

"I don't do sex in cars. They're too…" He smiles.

"…Small." Now he is grinning.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you'll see" He says confident.

She can't help but to blush.

"I've never…" He starts before she interrupts him.

"Let's stop. I'm so tired" She yawns and rests her head on his shoulder.

"You just wanted to know if I'd had sex in this car, didn't you?" He asks suspiciously.

"Nooo..." She says and closes her eyes.

"You're so sweet when you're jealous."

She has to smile then.

"I've never been madly in love with Elena Gilbert." Damon says and honks the horn long and loudly.

Her smile get's even wider.


	11. Tell me why

**A/N: I got a message from someone that felt like my bad and crappy english were ruining the whole story, so I want to say sorry for that. If it's many of you that feel that way, I am truly sorry. My only excuse is that english is not my first language, since I'm from Norway.. But anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please review! :D**

* * *

><p>"We're here." He leans over and kisses her lips lightly.<p>

The simple touch between their lips makes her crave more immediately.

She takes a deep breath and opens the car door.

When they walk towards the bar she reaches out and takes his hand.

It makes him stop up and look over at her. In his whole lifetime he has never been holding hands with a girl in public. Katherine only acknowledged him in closed bedrooms at nights and all the women after her were only for pleasure and feeding.

This is new to him. This small gesture from Elena means the world to him.

It shows him that she truly cares for him and it makes him feel worthy.

That someone actually can love him one day. That _she_ can.

"What is it?" She asks and looks up at him.

He sighs and sets his eyes in her.

"I love you." He says, his voice filled with so much devotion.

She didn't expect that. Not right now.

She knows that he loves her, she has known it for a long time. And he has told her more than once, but suddenly it hits her. Hard. Again. It wells over her like a flood. And it breaks her heart that she's not ready to tell it to him. That she loves him too. Because every moment she spends with him makes her believe that she does love him and that she has done for a while. And he deserves to hear it. He deserves to hear her say it every day, every minute that passes. No one deserves it more than him

_She is just not ready. She is scared, no scratch that, she is terrified. _

"I…" She starts.

He places one finger over her lips.

"Don't say anything." He says.

"I understand" He adds and kisses her temple

She smiles at him with blank eyes, so grateful for him understanding her inner battle.

They walk inside the bar hand in hand and he takes out the chair for her and orders fries and beers for them.

It's just like the last time they were here, and she thinks it's exactly what they need right now. She doesn't know how in few minutes that will change for her.

"Open your mouth" She laughs and feeds him fries.

"You're so cute" She squeals and pinches his cheek. He smiles at her and does the eye thing she bets he is famous for all over the country. She can't even imagine the number of girls who must have fallen for that and his other charms.

"You are not so bad yourself." He leans over the table and plants a lingering kiss on her mouth.

"I hope this is okay…" He starts.

"This date I mean, I bet Stefan took you out on all sorts of fancy dinners." He regrets mentioning his brother's name as soon as he sees her face shifting.

Seconds ago she was all smiles and laughter, now he only sees sadness in her eyes.

At first it makes him nervous and sad too, but soon it makes him angry.

"I'll have to be able to say his name without you closing yourself and get sad." He tells her and tries to stay calm.

She looks up at him and breathes in.

"I don't want to talk about it. About Stefan." She whispers.

He wants to be understanding, but it can't be like this.

"We have to talk about him, _with _him. He is a big part of our lives. Your life."

"Why are you bringing him up now?" She asks desperately with blank eyes.

He sighs and closes his eyes, hates to see her upset. But they have to talk about it; they can't avoid the subject forever.

"I was just casually mentioning his name, and you have a meltdown."

"I'm not having a meltdown."

She doesn't want to talk about Stefan, it pains her to think about him and the last time she saw him. She broke his heart into a million pieces and she has never seen him so devastated. Thinking about it only makes her resent herself for hurting him.

"You are practically crying just hearing his name. Can you please explain this to me? We have to be able to talk about Stefan."

She doesn't say anything. She just looks down at her plate and tries to fight the urge to fully burst into tears.

"He's my little brother, Elena" Damon says quietly.

"I love him"

They are both surprised by his little confession.

Elena has always known he loved his little brother, even though he was trying his hardest to not show it. And trying to pretend that all he wanted for Stefan was pain and misery.

Damon has also always known that he loved his brother, that he was apart of him. That in the end family was all that mattered; he just never thought he would say it out loud. Not ever, not to anyone.

He has spent so many years blaming his brother for turning him, for being in love with Katherine too. All those years he thought he hated his brother, but in the end he never did.

"I know you do" Elena says and looks up at him.

"I still don't want to talk about him right now."

Her eyes tell him to not push it further, but he can't help it.

"But I want to." He says stubbornly.

She get's up from where she's sitting.

"I can't do this now." She says between the tears she no longer eager to fight off.

She storms out and leaves him there, confused, angry and lost.

* * *

><p>"Do you mind if I join you?" Caroline asks with a wide smile and a whole lot of enthusiasm.<p>

Stefan looks up at her and shrugs his shoulders, like he doesn't care. Not only about this, but about everything else in the world.

Caroline sighs and sits down on the chair opposite of him.

"Are you okay, Stefan?" She asks carefully and quietly.

"Do you know where Elena is right now?" He asks, without answering her question and without any emotion in his voice.

Caroline shakes her head while eating her sandwich; she isn't sure where this is going.

"In Atlanta" Stefan says and looks down.

"On a date with Damon" He adds when he sees her questioning look.

Caroline reaches over the table to take his hand.

"I'm so sorry Stefan"

He lets out a little laugh, it confuses her and she let's go of his hand then.

"What?" She asks and furrows her brows. It's strange to see Stefan go from emotionless and a little cold one minute to laughing the next.

"You shouldn't say that" He tells her, finished laughing and back to no emotion.

She looks up at him, confused.

"No one should tell me they are sorry or _feel_ sorry for me. I don't deserve it. " He moves his food around on his plate with a sad and distant look in his eyes.

"Why are saying this, Stefan?" She takes his hand.

"I've done some horrible things, Caroline. And I practically pushed Elena into Damon's waiting arms. Everything that has happened is my own fault, and you shouldn't say that you are sorry."

He pushes her hand away.

They sit in silence; Caroline doesn't know what to say to him. The man in front of her is beating himself up, blaming himself for everything bad that has happened. And at the same time he is trying to heal a broken heart.

Stefan doesn't know what to say to her. She won't understand what he's feeling, she can't grasp around the emotions twirling around inside him. But he really wants her to; he wants to open up to her. Because she has a way about her, something that can make him smile in any situation and something that makes him feel a little more human again.

Even though they're both vampires, she brings out a little of the man he once was. The boy who loved a good joke and enjoyed the sun against his skin while running around laughing with his big brother.

_The boy that is long gone and never coming back. _

"It's okay." He suddenly says.

"That Damon and Elena is dating now. It's okay"

She takes a deep breath and sets her eyes in him.

"But…It's not. You love her so much. I know it." She tells him sincerely.

"I do." Stefan simply states.

"But so does Damon, and every day I was gone and every moment my switch were off, he looked after her. He protected her and cared for her. And healed all the wounds I was making. He deserves her ." He stops and looks down.

"And she loves him." He whispers.

Caroline can't argue that, because she has seen it. She has seen how Elena's eyes would light up when Damon's name was brought up, she has seen the jealousy in Elena's face, and she has seen the loving glances she has been giving the older Salvatore.

"After everything my brother's been through over the last century I'm glad he can be happy now. I owe it to him to stay out of it. Let them be happy. "

"You are such a good guy." Caroline says and gives him her biggest smile.

"Even though you don't think you are right now, I've seen it. All the good you have inside, I've _seen_ it."

He smiles too then, the smile that somehow has been reserved only for her.

"But for the record, I was rooting for you; I've always been team Stelena."

He has to laugh at her.

"You always make me laugh, Caroline." He tells her warmly.

"Is that a bad thing or a good thing?" She asks firmly.

"Good." He states.

Caroline and Stefan don't notice the person sitting in the corner who's been listening to their whole conversation.

That someone is not too happy about Damon and Elena living happily ever after.

It's someone who wants revenge.

_Revenge on both of them. _

* * *

><p>"Elena!" He yells and runs after her, as she runs towards the car.<p>

"What's going on with you?" He asks confused and blocks her way.

"Nothing" She whispers.

"This is not nothing." He says irritated.

She just shakes her head and continues to cry.

"You are regretting this, aren't you?" He says; his voice both angry and sad.

"No!" She yells. She knows she gives him no reason right now, but she wishes he would stop doubting himself all the time.

_Doubting her. Doubting them._

"So can you please tell me what this is?" He asks annoyed and tiredly.

"I can't talk about him because I hate myself, the guilt I feel when you say his name consumes me."

"I hate myself!"

They are both standing still, no more words coming out.


	12. Hate & love

**A/N: One reviewer, the awesome tukct81 (Seriously if you haven't read her stories, go do it! :D), asked if the last "I hate myself" in the last chapter was Damon. And if anyone else wondered, it was :) Anyway, please read and review :))**

* * *

><p>They are staring at each other, her eyes still filled with tears. He wants to take two steps towards her and wrap his arms around her. But he can't do it. Not now.<p>

Not with everything hanging in the air.

_Not now._

"What..?" She manages to whisper between the tears and sobs.

He is still standing still, no words, no reaction.

"Why do you hate yourself?" She whispers, confusion starting to fill her blank eyes.

He sighs and looks down, doesn't know where to start.

"That was not the issue now." He says calmly.

"It just slipped out" He adds and looks up at her again.

"You can't tell me you hate yourself and then shut down and not tell me why." She says annoyed and tired.

"You just did." He answers, equally annoyed.

She takes a deep breath and turns away from him.

She can't bear to look at him right now; she's done so many wrongs to him lately. Stringed him a long for a while, not able to tell him how she felt. And she feels like she is going to take his brother away from him. And on top of that she can't look at him because she has seen the insecurity slowly fill his face.

_He thinks she still wants his brother_.

She lets the tears really come and when she has found her inner strength, she turns around to face him again.

"I just really need you to know that I'm not regretting this, us." She tells him sincerely and honestly.

"But I need to be able to talk about Stefan; we need to be able to have him in our lives." He feels like they are walking in circles now. Not coming to the point.

"Why do _you_ hate yourself?" He asks her, mirroring her question from before.

She crosses her arms and shivers, doesn't know how to make him understand any of this.

"I did something I promised myself I wouldn't do." She tells him vulnerably.

"I became Katherine."

He shakes his head at her.

"You are nothing like her."

"But I am!" She screams, tears starting to flow again.

"I came between you two, and as Katherine broke your heart, I shattered Stefan's into pieces. And for that, I hate myself." She tries to wipe away some of the tears, but as she does more just continues to come.

"Don't compare yourself to her" He says, with an angry undertone.

To him she is nothing like Katherine. She showed him more compassion and caring when they first met than Katherine has ever showed him. And he doesn't fully believe that Elena thinks she is as bad as her doppelganger.

"You are just trying to sabotage us!"

"You want to sabotage you and me." He says loudly and heatedly.

She looks up at him, surprised and a little heartbroken by his accusation.

"I am not." She tells him firmly, still with wet cheeks and blank eyes.

He doesn't look her way; he is halfway turning away from her now.

"Damon…" She whispers.

He closes his eyes, it pains him that he feels this way, that these thoughts are in his head. But he needs to know

_This time he needs to know. _

"Have you just been pretending?" He asks quietly with so much pain that it hits Elena in the gut.

"In there, in the car, last night. Have you just been pretending to be happy?" He has to ask her.

These words are the final drop; she breaks down before his eyes. Sits down at the ground, tears flowing like never before.

"How can you say that?" She manages to get out between loud sobs.

But what hurts the most, is that she knows. She knows how he can say that. She understands why he feels this way. It's all her fault, it's all the things she has done to him and done to his brother.

_It's all her._

He walks over to her and lifts her up.

"I understand." She whispers in his ear when he holds her up.

"I've done so many things to make you feel insecure. To make you doubt me."

He kisses the top of her head, doesn't say a word.

"I'm not pretending" She whispers.

"I've never been this happy." She confesses and stands up before him.

She takes his hand.

He sees it in her eyes that she means it, and he can't help but to sigh in relief.

"I just feel so guilty. Every time I smile, I think about Stefan's devastated look when I told him. And when you kiss me like no one has ever done, I feel like an awful person." She sighs.

"But it has nothing to do with you." She quickly adds when she sees his look.

"What exactly did you tell Stefan?" He asks, not sure if he wants to hear her answer.

She takes a deep breath and let's her fingers slip out of his hand.

"I told him I one day realized how I felt gratitude towards him because he left. Because him leaving meant that you could live. And I needed you, I _need_ you."

She is crying again, tears streaming down her face.

"I watched his heartbroken look when I told him that him being away forever wasn't as bad as you dying." She doesn't look at him, afraid of how he will be looking at her.

"And I've felt guilty every day since. I still feel so guilty…"

She gathers the courage to take her eyes up from the ground and see straight into his. To her surprise she sees guilt there, and sadness. And everything she believes he too can see in hers.

He pulls away from her gaze and turns away from her.

She doesn't know how guilty he feels. How much self-hatred he is carrying around too.

"My brother saved me." He whispers.

"And I repay him by stealing his girl." He is not sure if he is still talking to her or if he is simply just talking to himself.

Because this sentence, this _feeling_, has been in his head for months. Eating him up from the inside. All the guilt he has tried to bury, has been quietly consuming him. And he hopes that saying it out loud actually will help him.

_Maybe it can help the both of them. _

"And then he saved me again, and what do I do?" He sighs.

"I kiss you…"

His eyes get blank, but he pushes the tears away. Like he thinks he doesn't deserve to cry, to hurt.

"I took you from him when he was gone having it horrible, gone because he saved me."

He takes two deep breaths before continuing.

"That's why I hate myself, that's why I wake up guilty every day. But that's also why I am so incredibly happy each day too."

He turns around again, to look at her. And to his surprise she looks angry.

"Why do you talk about me like I was someone you could just take? Like I was some price you could win from your brother. Why have you and Stefan been acting like this is a competition?" She yells at his stunned face. And suddenly she starts punching his chest.

She does it because she is so angry. Not only at him, most of all at herself. Right now she thinks she is angry at everyone. At everything.

"I was never someone you could _take_."

He grabs her hands.

"I didn't mean it like that." He tells her calmly.

"I did this!" She yells against his chest.

"I fell for you. Me! This isn't your fault or Stefan's fault." His shirt is getting wet from all her crying.

"_I_ chose you. _I_ want to be with you. It's only me who should feel guilty."

A tear makes its way down one of his cheeks; he hates to see her like this. He kisses the top of her head and a part of him wants this all to be over. This conversation full of guilt and hurt and devastation.

_He wants them to just be happy._

But another part of him doesn't think that's possible before this is all out in the open. That everything they have been carrying around alone can be something they can share instead. They have been feeling guilty because they want to be together and at some point it has to stop.

Or they will never really _be_ together.

"I did this…" Elena repeats tired and defeated.

Her crying has stopped and he wraps his arms around her.

"Please stop blaming yourself for all of this" He whispers against her hair.

"I think at some point we both have to. We have to move on from here." He tells her honestly.

"Yes…" She whispers.

"And I think he have to talk to Stefan."

She nods against his chest before tilting her head up to look at him.

"We'll do it together" She tells him and kisses his lips lightly.

He halfway carries her to the car, opens the door for her and sets her gently down in the seat.

"Promise me you will be okay" He says vulnerably.

"I will be" She tells him and she actually believes so.


	13. Trembling hands and trembling hearts

"We need to talk, brother." Damon says calmly when he wanders inside the living room at the boarding house.

Stefan is standing by the fireplace quietly staring at the flames. He turns around when he hears his brother and nods at him.

They do need to talk.

Just as Damon goes to pour himself a drink, Elena comes walking in too.

Stefan immediately looks at the ground, he heard that she was in the house and he knew she would be joining them, but it's still difficult to see her.

She hesitates before telling him that she needs to speak to him too, he silently nods at her as well. She hasn't seen him since that day in his bedroom and now she can see the traces of the sadness and hopelessness she witnessed then.

"I feel guilty." She suddenly blurts out and she gets his attention right away.

He looks up at her for the first time that night. His eyes filled with confusion and mildly shock.

"What?" He whispers.

"I feel guilty." She repeats.

"I got that" He starts.

"But why?"

She sits down in one of the chairs and takes a deep breath. Damon walks up behind where she's sitting and lays his hand supportively on her shoulder.

That gesture in _that _moment means the world to her and she feels eternally grateful to have him.

"Because of _this_, because of you and me." She stops and sighs.

"Because of me and Damon, but mostly because of _you_ and Damon."

Stefan looks at his brother and then back at Elena. He furrows his brows and crosses his arms, still confused.

"I came between you two." Elena says and crosses her arms too.

"I did what Katherine did over a hundred years ago."

Stefan's reaction is to shake his head at her, over and over.

"You are nothing like her."

Elena closes her eyes and pushes away the coming tears. She can't cry anymore, she can't take more tears at this moment.

"That's what I said." Damon states firmly.

She touches his hand for a second, before giving her attention back to Stefan.

"I hate myself for what I've done to you, for what I _said_ to you. For everything I've done to hurt you."

Stefan doesn't response at first. And then suddenly he lets out a laugh.

"That's ridiculous." He says and almost smiles at her.

She's surprised by his reaction; this was not what she expected at all. She gives him a questioning look before he continues.

"You should not hate yourself, _I _should hate myself. I _do_. You haven't done anything in comparison to what I've done to you. I fed on you, Elena. I almost drove you off a bridge. I've hurt you both physically and emotionally. And for that I'm deeply sorry."

He sighs.

"I'm the villain here."

"But…" Elena starts.

She stops when Damon puts both his hands on her shoulders.

"He's right" He says and gives his brother an apologetic look. Stefan ignores it and just looks at Elena.

"Please don't feel guilty, Elena. That's the only thing I want to ask of you now. Please don't feel like you owe me something or that you being with Damon will ruin me. I will be fine. But only if you stop hating yourself, because then maybe one day I can stop hating myself."

Elena stands up and slowly walks over to him. She wraps her arms around him.

"Thank you. Thank you for setting me free." She whispers and a tear makes its way down her cheek.

He smiles at her when they part. Not a truly genuine smile, but eventually he will get there. It will hurt to see her happy with his brother, but she deserves it_. They_ deserve it. And one day he will be able to give her a real smile. Maybe that's also the day he will find happiness like theirs.

Stefan is about to leave when Damon speaks up again.

"I'm the villain too." He says and Stefan turns around.

"I stole your girl when you were busy saving my life."

Stefan sighs.

"Not you too." He looks at Damon and takes a breath.

"Can you two stop feeling so damn guilty and just be happy together?"

"It's not so easy brother."

Damon finishes his bourbon in one shot and places his now empty glass on the table.

"It should be." Stefan says calmly.

"I can't say I'm thrilled to see you two together. But I will learn to be okay with it, and in the meantime I will stay out of the way. I will let you be happy. You deserve it."

Damon is about to protest, but Stefan won't let him.

"Let it go, brother. You didn't steal her from me; she fell in love with you. I left her and you always stayed. You protected her and carried her every day. And when I hurt her you were there to pick up the pieces. "

Damon is stunned by his words and can't really get a word out. So he just gives his little brother a nod and a small smile.

Stefan is on his way out when he turns around and faces them on last time that night.

"You know what I just realized?" He asks without really expecting an answer.

"This was never our love story, it was always _yours_."

* * *

><p>"Hey there" Damon greets her while buttoning his shirt.<p>

"Hey" She smiles at him.

She looks nervous and just paces around in his room.

"You okay?" He asks and kisses her lightly.

She nods at him.

"You glad we had that talk with Stefan last night?" He asks her and sits down at the bed.

She nods again.

That talk lifted most of the guilt from her shoulders. It felt like Stefan finally set her free, that he somewhat gave them his blessing. All his words makes it easier to move forward with Damon. And that's all she really wants now.

"Come sit with me" He says and smiles.

She walks over to him and sits down, immediately grabs his hand.

"I want to move forward from now on, leave all the guilt behind." She tells him and bumps her forehead against his.

"I want that too" He whispers and his breath at her skin makes her close her eyes and take it all in.

_Them. Him. This. _

_From the way the sunshine hits his face to the tingling feeling in her stomach._

Then she starts kissing him eagerly, lays her hands on his chest. Her fingers start to unbutton the shirt he was just putting on.

He kisses her back with equally force and let's himself drown in all of her, but then suddenly he stops to take her face in his hands.

"Are you sure?" He whispers.

She nods and kisses all his doubts away.

He pushes her gently down at the bed and places himself on top of her. She quickly removes his shirt while he bites her earlobe lightly.

"I love you" He whispers in her ear, with no intension to get her to say it back. He doesn't expect it and he doesn't need it. Not now. He has never been this sure, the doubts he has been carrying around has been erased from his mind.

_By her, this beautiful creature he loves more than anything else. _

He kisses his way down her neck while pushing her sweater off.

"Damon…"It's only a breath, close to a moan.

_She has never felt this alive._

Neither has he, even though he hasn't really been walking with the living for over a century.

Loud noises and bangs coming from the living room underneath them drags them out from their blissfulness.

"What the hell?" Damon breathes out and stands up.

"Stefan?" Elena asks worried.

"Doubt it; he's out drinking blood with Caroline." Damon says and grabs his shirt.

They get dressed and storms downstairs.

* * *

><p>The sight that meets them is Rebekah trying to trash the house.<p>

"What the hell are you doing?" Damon yells and places himself in front of Elena, so he can easier protect her if it comes down to it.

"I knew this would get your attention." Rebekah smiles at them.

"And I really need it. You see, I have a huge problem and I need help to fix it."

She stops talking and decides to push over another bookshelf.

"That was rude" Damon says and smirks.

"I don't usually help home invaders that ruin my living room interior."

She lets out another laugh.

"Oh, you will." She crosses her arms and walks towards them.

"I recently found out that there was another white oak…"

She ignores Elena's gasping look and Damon's furrowed brows.

"I know, I know. It's the only thing that can kill me and my family. So why would I tell you? Why tell the people that want to kill us?" She stops for the dramatic effect.

"Because I'm desperate. I've been snooping around without any results. And I'm an inpatient girl, I need speeding processes and fast results. And I know that the Salvatore's has books about all kinds of plants and boring trees."

Damon takes to step forward, smirking again.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have thrown our books all around?"

Elena stands frozen without saying a word, the tingling feeling that's been in her stomach is now replaced with a bad one.

"You can stop smirking now, Damon. Either you help me find that tree or I kill Elena."


	14. I got you

**A/N: So sorry for the super late update! I've been working a lot lately.. I promise you the next chapter will come much sooner. This story is coming to an end soon. I've always known how I will end it, and I believe that it's only like three or four chapters left. I want to thank all who reads and everyone that takes the time to review, it really means a lot! Anyways, hope you enjoy and please review :)**

* * *

><p>"Thank you for this" Stefan says as he and Caroline walks towards the boarding house.<p>

"For helping me get through this" He adds when he sees her confused look.

She flashes him a smile, hers are still the most vivid he has seen.

It brings out a side of him he thought was long gone, it's refreshing and compelling.

"You need to move on. It'll be hard, but I'll help you in the best way that I can." She tells him, no smile now.

"There are other girls out there" He says and laughs a little.

She doesn't notice the little glance he's giving her.

She just smiles again.

"Maybe too soon to think about other girls" She says and he nods silently.

"Or..." She starts after a little while; they're close to the door now.

"I don't know. I think it's healthy to move on, we all need to do it." She looks down at the ground.

"No word from Tyler?" He immediately asks, and it baffles her time and a time again how well he knows her and understands what's on her mind. How much he cares for her. It's in his voice. The concern and the sweetness.

"No." She simply answers.

"No word"

He gives her a sympathetic look. She really doesn't want it.

"I'm fine!" She flashes him a smile again, but this time it doesn't reach her eyes.

"You don't have to pretend with me." He says as he opens the door to his house.

His words make her stop and wait, a little baffled, before she follows him in.

The sight that greets them when they're inside, is Damon surrounded by a huge pile of books.

He is reading what looks to be a diary of some sort.

"Have you finally lost it?" Caroline asks him when she sees him frantically go through the book.

He ignores her.

"I need to find that damn tree." He says without looking at them.

"He really has lost it" Caroline says and looks over at Stefan.

Damon ignores her again, hasn't got the time for her silly jokes.

"What are you doing, Damon?" Stefan asks and gives his brother a concerned look.

"I have to find a white oak or Rebekah kills Elena." He kind of blurts it out, initially he wasn't planning on telling them. He knows what he has to do; he's had a plan brewing in his head since Rebekah left.

And they can't know about it, especially not Caroline.

She can tell Elena. And that can't happen.

_That really can't happen._

"What?" Caroline gasps.

"I don't understand." Stefan says, much more calm. But with a frown upon his face.

"We had a visitor earlier today." Damon starts, stops flipping the pages for a moment.

He looks up at his brother before he continues.

"Rebekah told us that there apparently is another white oak." Damon starts looking in the book again. He has to find it. And then take it from there.

"And?" Caroline asks impatiently.

"And our family kept records of the woods and trees around here, so she told me that if I don't help her, she'll kill Elena. But…" He stops, he almost blurted out his inner thoughts about the whole situation. About the plan, about the things he knows he have to do. The outcome that for him seems inevitable.

He can't tell them now, so he bites his lip.

They can't know everything, but he could still use their help.

"Where's Elena?" Stefan asks and drags Damon out of his thoughts.

"Home" He answers calmly. Alaric called her and needed her for something, he had told her to just go. He would call her if he found something.

He lied.

"It's the only place she's safe." He says as Caroline grabs one of the books. Stefan joins them too.

Caroline looks at Damon and sighs. She can see the desperation and devastation clearly in his eyes.

"We'll find it." She tells him and squeezes his arm.

Stefan just nods in agreement.

They silently reads through the pages, doesn't find anything interesting or important. Damon feels the frustration starting to grow stronger. But he has to focus. This is too important; he has to be in control. Can't let his anger or frustration overtake him.

"Klaus won't let her kill Elena." Caroline suddenly says.

"He needs her to be alive." She tries to smile.

Tries to see some positivity in all the misery.

"Rebekah doesn't care. She's wanted to kill Elena since she stabbed her in the back." Damon doesn't smile at all.

The silence continues.

Damon is starting to loose hope. He looks around at all the old Salvatore books, there has to be something in one of them. Something that can lead them to the white oak, and hopefully to Elena's safety.

_One way or another._

"There's nothing here." Stefan sighs and throws one of the books away.

Caroline sits down sighing overdramatically as she too finishes one of the books without any results.

Neither one of them notices the page Damon rips out and hides in his pocket.

His hope is starting to come back to him.

* * *

><p>Elena sighs as she looks in the mirror. The girl staring back at her feels like someone else.<p>

Her life has been in danger before; she's been threatened more than once. But something about this feels different.

This is different.

She's really not ready to die.

_Not now._

The girl staring back at her looks like someone who has given up. But Elena isn't ready for that.

She wants to fight back.

She brushes her teeth and tries to call Damon one more time. She's been trying all day, he hasn't answered and she's starting to get worried.

After Rebekah left and Alaric rang, Damon asked her to go home and stay there all day. And for once, she listened to him. It was something about the look in his eyes. The pleading, the worrying, the need to keep her alive. And she knows she's safe here, neither Rebekah nor Klaus has been invited in.

She has no problem staying inside.

But she _needs_ Damon to be there too.

She pulls her hair back in a ponytail and takes on last look in the mirror. She takes a deep breath as she turns off the bathroom light.

She jumps back when she sees Damon sitting on her bed.

"God…You scared me."

"Love your PJ's" He says and smirks.

"Are you drunk?" She asks teasingly.

He lets out a laugh and stands up.

"Of course I am."

She rolls her eyes at him.

"Come here" He says and she trips over to him immediately.

She leans in for a kiss and he's more than happy to give her one.

When they part he kisses her nose lightly and wraps his arms securely around her.

"I didn't find the tree" He whispers and all he can think about is the journal page that lays in his bedroom drawer. He hates lying to her, but this time he has no choice.

He knows the ending of this and he has accepted it.

But he knows that she never would, so therefore he won't tell her.

He lies to save her life.

"Okay" She whispers back.

She knew it would be difficult, she knew he wouldn't just find the tree and they could live happily ever after. That would be too easy.

_And they've never been easy._

She doesn't want it either; she wants them exactly like they are.

"She can't come in here" Elena says and kisses him again.

"And we will find that tree" She smiles up at him and grabs his hand.

"Come to bed with me." She whispers seductively and drags him with her.

He stops up and his thoughts are flying everywhere. He can't do this now, even though he wants to so badly.

He would feel like he was using her.

"Can we…" He starts and clears his throat.

"Can we just sleep?" His question is only a whisper.

She looks up at him, confused and a little taken aback.

He has never seen her so surprised, at the same time she looks a little hurt. That was not his intension at all.

He grabs her and pulls her close.

"I just want it to be special" He starts.

"I _want_ you" He says and kisses her forehead.

She smiles at him, it reaches her eyes, and he knows that they're okay.

"Just sleeping tonight" She says and nuzzles her nose against his.

He smiles too; she doesn't notice how it's soon after replaced by a sad look in his eyes.

They lay down beside each other.

She cuddles up against him as he plays with her hair.

Soon after she falls asleep with her hand in his.

For hours he just watches her sleep, he doesn't move a muscle.

"God, I love you" He whispers and gently touches her cheek.

She can't hear him.

Elena doesn't notice that he sneaks out a few moments later and she doesn't know that she will wake up with only a note laying next to her.


	15. Save my heart

She rolls over on her side and reaches out to touch his chest, only to find the spot beside her empty.

Her hand touches a piece of paper and she quickly opens her eyes and sits up in the bed, she has a really bad feeling as she starts reading the note.

"No." She whispers and starts shaking her head.

A tear drops down at the paper and another is resting on her eyelash.

"This isn't real." She says out loud.

_Sadly it is._

Elena jumps off from the bed grabs the clothes that are closest and when she's dressed to go outside she runs as fast as she can down to her car.

The whole ride to the boarding house she wishes she would wake up and find him laying next her, that this was all just a bad dream.

_Sadly it isn't._

This is all very real.

In all the chaos that occupied her mind she didn't notice that she brought his letter with her. The wet piece of paper is lying in the seat next to her. She glances over at it and reads his words one more time.

_My sweet Elena._

_I'm so sorry. What I'm about to do is necessary; it's something I have to do. Your life depends on it. I hate lying to you, but I did tonight. I found the white oak, but you couldn't know. I know you would do all you could to stop me, and I can't let you do it. We're similar when it comes to that; we do everything in our power to save the people we love. And God, I love you. I can't live in a world where you don't exist, so therefore I'm gone now. And I hope I'll see you soon. But if not, I need you to know how happy you made me._

_Yours forever, Damon._

Damon is out on some suicide mission and wants to tell her goodbye, but she is nowhere ready to accept it.

* * *

><p>She storms out of the car, almost trips at some rocks, but is soon inside the boarding house.<p>

She's on her way up the stairs when she sees a figure in the living room.

It's Stefan.

He is sitting by the fireplace.

"Tell me I'm not too late." She says, voice cracking and eyes blank.

"Please…" She pleads out in the air as he turns around to look at her.

"I'm too late…" She whispers when she sees his face, tears flowing now.

Stefan stands up goes towards her.

"I'm sorry." He says and looks to the ground.

"I have to go after him. I think I know where he is, I _do_ know where he is. He went after her didn't he?" At this point she is talking to herself just as much as to him. But he answers her question, with the look on his face this time too.

"I knew it! I shouldn't have come here first...I just hoped he would be here, but..." She walks towards the front door.

She has to go after him, even though there's not much she can do. She just hopes that she can stop him before he does anything stupid.

_Before he gets himself killed. _

As she is about to open the door, Stefan blocks her way.

"Can you please move?" She asks him annoyed and tries to go pass him.

He just shakes his head at her and makes it impossible for her to go out of the house.

"What are you doing Stefan? I have to go after him!" She is yelling now, the tears are replaced by anger.

"I can't let you do that."

* * *

><p>Rebekah is a girl that gets easily bored.<p>

And now, with her brother out of town and nothing to do, she is more bored than ever.

She's been trying to locate a stupid tree, but it's proven to be difficult and dull.

Two things she hates.

So trying to get help from Damon and threatening Elena, could hopefully solve two problems at the same time. Finding the only thing that can kill her and her family, and at the same time finally have some fun again.

Ever since she overheard Caroline and Stefan at the grill talking about Elena and Damon being together, she'd been irritated, impatient and angry.

Elena doesn't deserve to be happy and she'd like to have Damon as a plaything for herself.

And most of all she wants revenge on Elena.

She pours herself a glass of red wine and wanders around the enormous living room.

This house is too big she thinks to herself. It only makes her feel even more lonely than she already does. The big empty rooms reminds her of the life she had when she was human, the days she didn't even know what loneliness was.

Suddenly Rebekah hears noises from the hall and quickly makes her way out there.

She smiles when she sees her guest.

"Hello, Damon."

* * *

><p>"Please, Stefan." She looks up at him, pleads him with her eyes.<p>

"I promised Damon" He says, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I promised him that if you came here, I wouldn't let you go after him. That I wouldn't let you out of my sight. "

His words make her want to punch him in the face.

Instead she turns away from him and goes back into the living room, defeated and devastated.

"Why didn't you stop him?" She yells at him when he follows her.

"You know he will get himself killed! Why couldn't you just stop him?" She puts her hand to her mouth and sobs loudly.

"I tried." Stefan says calmly and starts telling her what happened earlier.

"_I found the white oak, brother." Damon says and walks towards him. _

"_What?" He asks surprised._

"_And now I'm gonna kill Rebekah." He says it like it's the easiest thing in the world, like he can just walk inside her house and kill her._

"_Stop kidding, Damon" Stefan says even though he knows he's not. He can see that his brother means it._

"_I have to do it." Damon says intensely. His brother is quiet._

"_She will kill Elena no matter what. It' won't help to tell her where the white oak is, she will still kill her. And I can't let that happen"_

_Damon is about to leave._

"_You know you can't kill her, Damon. Don't do this" Stefan says in a pleading voice. _

"_Deep down, Stefan, you know this is right .If I can kill her…"_

"_But you can't" Stefan interrupts him._

"_I have to try!" Damon raises his voice and Stefan can see in his eyes that he won't be able to stop him. _

"_I have to do it for Elena, you know I do..." His voice lower now, full of emotion._

_Stefan doesn't argue with that. He knows he can't stop him._

_Damon walks out, stops at the door._

"_If Elena comes her, promise me you won't let her go after me."_

_Stefan nods._

"_Promise me you will look after her."_

_He nods again._

_Hopes it won't come to that._

"_Where was it?" He asks out of a moment of curiosity. _

"_The white oak." He adds when he sees Damon's confused look._

"_It was right here in front of us."_

Elena gives Stefan a confusing look when he stops talking.

"What did he mean?" She asks and sits down.

"Some of our ancestors chopped down the white oak and the material was so good that they decided to make furniture…"

"…Furniture that's in this house now." She finishes for him as she notices that one of the book shelves is gone.

The irony of it all makes her laugh. The laugh slowly goes over to hysterically crying.

"Damon found a page about in one of the journals and hid it from me and Caroline."

Stefan sighs and sits down next to her.

"Are you okay?" He asks and lays a hand on hers.

"No." She whispers between the tears.

"Not at all." Her voice cracks and Stefan pulls her in for a hug.

"Damon won't be able to kill her."

The thought of him not coming back is unbearable.

It makes Elena shiver.

* * *

><p>"I found your tree." Damon says and smirks.<p>

Rebekah walks towards him smiling.

"That was fast."

She goes slowly all the way to him, stops with her face just inches from his.

"You know I'm good."

"So where is it?" She asks.

His smirk get's wider.

"I have some of it right here."

He pulls out the stake, but she reacts in seconds.

It's punching and pulling, both struggling to get the upper hand.

The stake is suddenly lying alone on the floor, both throws themselves at it.

The seconds feels like forever before a hand grabs it.

And then it goes through someone's heart


	16. You don't know how much I love you

An hour has passed since she found the note, for Elena it feels like an eternity.

Her eyes are red and swollen from all the crying, her voice is almost gone and she feels completely empty.

_Because an hour is too much._

He probably has been gone even longer, and that should've given him plenty of time to do what he planned.

If he was coming back, he would by now.

It's all she can think about, that he is gone. That he most likely is dead and she will never get to see him again.

A small sob escapes her lips as Stefan wraps a blanket around her.

"He is probably walking in her any minute." He tells her, and he almost convinces himself.

_But not her._

"It's been _too_ long." She whispers.

"Don't say that, killing an original probably acquires some time." Stefan says as he sits down next to her.

She doesn't give him a respond, just stares out in the air. Silent tears resting at her eyelashes, trying to escape.

She thinks about her life, how she's lost so many people. How losing him feels unreal and unthinkable. That maybe she is cursed, that bad things always will happen to the people around her.

_To the people she loves._

"I never told him that I loved him." She suddenly says, still not looking at Stefan.

"He knows." Stefan sighs.

"No, he doesn't…" She stops, looks over at him.

"How could he?"

"Everyone can see it, Elena. We have for a while now." Stefan lays a hand on her knee.

"But _he_ doesn't know. _He_ doesn't know how it feels to have someone love him. I just…" Her voice cracks and the tears that were trying to get away are coming in waves now.

"No one has ever told him that they loved him. And God, he deserves that."

She breaks down again when she remembers that it's probably _deserved_ now.

Stefan lays his arms around her for the second time that night and she lets it all out, making his shirt wet and his eyes blank.

He hates seeing her like this, it's unbearable. As he comforts her he tries to push all the thoughts about his brother far away.

_He fails big time._

Then all of a sudden, Caroline's face is all he can picture. How he wants her to be here right now. To not only comfort Elena, but also him. But he pushes that thought away too.

And yet again concentrates on the girl who is sobbing against his chest. And the brother he probably has had his last conversation with.

* * *

><p>"How long has it been?" She asks him, voice emotionless now.<p>

"Only ten minutes, Elena" He sighs, doesn't know what to say anymore. The only thing he feels is a agonizing pain in his chest.

They both sit in silence, only sound is the ticking off the clock. A ticking that represents every second that Damon is not there with them.

The air is thick with the words and thoughts none of them bear to say out loud.

So they sit in silence, counting the excruciating seconds and minutes.

"Did you hear that?" Elena suddenly asks him, even though she knows he can hear everything before her.

"There's someone outside." She screams and is on her feet faster than Stefan can respond.

She runs outside in the hallway just as the door opens.

"Damon…" She whispers and throws herself at him. Arms clinging to his neck as almost all the tears she has left runs just as much down his cheek as hers.

"What's with all the crying?" He smiles and kisses her forehead.

Her eyes and fingers wander all around his body, checking him for injuries and bleeding wounds.

"Are you really okay?" She whispers as she lets him go.

He nods and smiles at her.

"Can't say the same for Rebekah though."

"Did you kill her?" It's Stefan who is asking.

"Yes." He simply says.

Stefan does something he hasn't done in a long time, he hugs his brother.

"Glad you are alive."

Damon just nods.

Stefan looks at Elena and then back at Damon. He mumbles something about hiking, sunrise and Caroline before he leaves them there alone.

Damon lays his arms around Elena and stirs her towards the living room. She isn't saying anything, just silently follows him.

_She doesn't know what to feel._

"I went over to your house first" He starts.

"I was hoping you were still sleeping and that I could just sneak back into your bed without you noticing any of this."

She huffs, he doesn't notice.

"I didn't want you to go through this" He tells her tenderly.

She stops up, pulls away from his arms.

"Why did you do it then?" She asks; voice angry all of a sudden.

Now that she knows he is safe and okay she has to confront the anger that's been lying under the surface.

_He left her._

"What?" He asks; a surprised look upon his face.

She turns away from him, takes deep breathes.

He reaches out and takes her arm, makes her face him again.

"Are you okay, Elena?" He asks calmly.

She starts punching his chest, tears flowing.

"Okay?" She yells between the punches.

"I thought you were dead!" She sobs as he grabs her hands to make her stop.

"But I'm not" He says and gently let's go off her.

She walks away from him again, mixed emotions flying around inside of her.

"You could be, you left me to go out on some suicide mission. I know you thought you wouldn't make it, I know you didn't really think you could kill her."

She sighs.

"You are self-destructive."

She regrets saying it as soon as she sees his face. His look is filled with anger and hurt.

"I did it for you!" He yells at her.

"Don't you understand that? I did it to save you!" He is angry know too, can't understand why she's reacting like this. He thought she would be happy, not yelling and screaming at him.

_Not tell him how destructive he is._

"I don't want you to save me all the time, not when it means that you must die!" She yells back at him as she tries to wipe away some tears.

"Stop trying to save me!"

He shakes his head at her.

"Why?" He asks heatedly.

"Why can't I try? Why can't you let me keep you safe?" He takes a breath.

"Why can't I die for you if I want to? Don't you know you're all I have?"

They are standing right in front of each other, yelling to each other's faces.

"Why?" He repeats when she's completely silent.

"Because I love you!" She screams back, tears everywhere.

"I love you…" She whispers as it feels like all the air has gone out of her.

She looks up at him, his eyes filled with shock and devotion, his look totally baffled.

She stands totally still, waits for him to say something.

_He doesn't._

He just grabs her and kisses her breath away.

Her hands goes straight to his shirt and she starts unbuttoning it as he kisses his way down her neck. He stops with her collarbone and she lets out a moan.

When she has finally removed his shirt, he grabs a hold of her sweater and drags it off.

Her lips find their way to his and she kisses him eagerly, like there's no tomorrow.

_And with them you don't know. _

"Damon…"She moans as he is kissing her neck again, he groans against her collarbone.

Then he grabs hold of her and lifts her from the ground, she hooks her legs around him as he starts walking.

They kiss their way to his bedroom and he throws her down at his bed and places himself gently on top of her.

"You are so beautiful." He whispers and kisses her again.

"I love you so much." She whispers in his ear and it sends shivers through his entire body.

He presses his lips against hers, kisses her hungrily and softly at the same time. She let's her tongue sweep between his lips. Damon moves his hands gently over her breasts and her stomach, feels her breath increase with every touch. She whispers his name as he kisses all of her skin, it feels like her whole body is on fire.

His hands find hers and he holds her wrists gently, pinning her down beneath him. She shivers as his lips drop lower again and he lets out a groan.

He pulls her pants down as she tries to unzip his, their legs all tangled up.

The look he gives her then, almost makes her cry again.

No one has ever looked at her like that, and no one ever will.

His hands drift down right between her legs and she lets out a sound, close to a sigh.

"_Damon_" It's only a breath as her hands clenches at his back.

He breathes heavily as she nips at his lips.

Her arms are wrapped around his neck and her legs tightly around his waist. She slips a hand between their bodies and guides him.

_And then time freezes._

"Elena…" He moans as her hips bucks against his. He kisses her frantically and she swallows his quiet screams.

He breathes heavily between kisses, she is clenching around him as he goes deeper inside of her with every thrust.

She gasps for air.

_The world stops._


	17. We found love, forever

**A/N: So this is the end, it's kind of sad, but this is how I wanted it to end right from the start. I want to thank everyone who's reviewed the story, it means a lot! A special thank you to tukct81 for reviewing every chapter! Enjoy and please review.**

* * *

><p>It's been a month since she told him she loved him for the first time.<p>

Every day that has passed since then has contained those three little words.

She's told him at least once each day, sometimes more.

And the look on his face when she says it fills her heart and makes everything they've gone through worth it.

Because despite everything, they're still standing.

_Stronger than ever. _

She can't believe it took her so long to tell him, now looking back it all seems so ridiculous. How afraid she was of uttering those words to him, how she thought the world would fall apart.

It has only made everything more right. More real.

_More like they both want it to be. _

Elena sighs as she wanders down the staircase at her house.

Steps she has walked on more times than she can count. She stops and looks over at all the pictures hanging on the wall. Her parents, Jenna, John, Jeremy and herself as little kids. She lays a finger over Jeremy's face. They boy on the picture smiles up at her, and it stings in her heart. She misses her brother so much, but at the same time she knows she did the right thing by compelling him to leave.

Losing all the people on the pictures will never stop hurting, but the man that waits on her in the kitchen makes it all a little bit better.

It's a lot easier to wake up, when he's there next to her when she opens her eyes. When he holds her close when she has her recurring nightmare, fewer and fewer as time goes by.

_It's easier to live when she spends her life with him._

"I hope you are hungry." Damon says and smiles as she enters the kitchen.

He is chopping carrots with a towel casually hanging over his shoulder.

It looks so normal.

_So human._

The sight makes her heart swell, but at the same time it aches.

They will never be normal.

She won't have a family with him.

She kills the thought immediately. They will create their own family, their own future. And it will be more than enough.

_It will be perfect._

"Starving." She says and stands on her toes to give him a kiss.

"Good." He continues chopping as she lays her arms around his waist.

"I love you so much." She whispers against his neck.

It surprises him each time, those words from her mouth.

_Those words to him._

The way it makes him feel is incredible. The feeling of finally being wanted, loved.

It makes him so grateful towards her.

_And it makes him feel entirely human._

Standing on her kitchen cooking for her, with her hands around his waist and her lips against his skin.

It _is_ human.

"Have you already eaten your dinner?" She asks and it drags him back to reality.

He is not human.

He is something different entirely.

Essentially he is a monster, and nothing will change that.

His dinner is blood.

It pains him that he can never give her what he knows she really wants.

Kids.

Security.

A family.

He can't give her any of that, and it will always be his greatest sorrow.

He shakes the feeling off. He has to appreciate the life he has now, the girl standing in front of him, the bond they share.

He knows how fast it can all be dragged away from him.

"I ate earlier" He says and looks at her.

"And I love you too."

She smiles at him.

"Is Alaric eating with us?" She asks as she flips through a magazine.

"I think so." He takes out the meat from the oven.

"I miss Jeremy." Elena then suddenly says.

He stops what he's doing and walks over to her.

"I know." He says and lays his arms around her securely.

She sighs and leans into his touch.

"And I'm scared Klaus will come revenge his sister." She starts.

"That he will do anything in his power to kill you…" The last thing is only a whisper, the thought is almost unbareable.

He kisses her temple.

"It's strange that he hasn't come yet." He says and goes back to the food.

Elena nods at him.

"I don't think it's a good sign." She looks down.

He agrees.

And then he remembers something he was going to tell her.

"I think Stefan is crushing on Caroline by the way." He blurts out and Elena gasps at him.

"What?" She asks and stands up.

He nods as he starts telling her about all the signs he has noticed.

"This is so perfect!" She squeals.

He laughs.

"They are absolutely perfect for each other." Elena says with a big smile on her face.

"No double dates." Damon quickly says before she is able to utter the words.

* * *

><p>Caroline has her head stuck in the refrigerator trying to find something to drink.<p>

She is going on about someone or something as she takes out some blood bags.

He doesn't hear what she's saying, he's simply studying her.

Her every move, every motion from her hair, every smile she flashes.

"What do you want?" He can hear her asking him.

"Something I've wanted to try for a while now." He says without taking his eyes away from her.

"AB +? Cause I've heard that's got a kink to…"

He cuts her off with a bruising kiss.

She is caught off guard at first, but she's soon leaning into him.

Then she's realizing what's happening and pushes him away.

"What was that?" She asks, voice loud and eyes wide.

He doesn't answer.

"You can't kiss me." She tells him as her fingers automatically go to her lips.

"Why not?" He moves towards her.

"It's…" She starts, voice trembling now as he comes closer.

"It's wrong" She says and looks to the ground.

He comes even closer and she crosses her arms and takes two steps back.

"How can something that feels _this_ good be wrong?" He asks calmly and sets his eyes in hers.

"You can feel that this is absolutely right." He touches her arms gently.

"I know you do." He adds as he feels her shiver from his touch.

"But Elena is my best friend, and Elena…" He stops her by putting his finger on her lips.

"Elena is in love with my brother." Stefan says and smiles at her.

"And I think I'm starting to fall in love with you."

_He knows he is._

And it's a wonderful feeling.

Caroline doesn't know what to say, what to actually feel about his words.

He's made her speechless for the first time in her life.

"I know you feel something for me too." He says it like it's a fact.

They both know that it is.

She is still lost for words so she simply nods at him and brings out one of the smiles she saves only for him.

The smile makes him kiss her again.

* * *

><p>"That was amazing." She says when she finally catches her breath.<p>

She rolls over on her stomach and kisses his bare chest.

"I know I'm good." He teases and she has to laugh at him.

"You must defiantly are." She says and kisses him.

She lays her head on his chest and her arm on his waist.

"God, you smell good." He whispers into her hair.

She giggles at him and starts making small hearts on his chest with her fingertip.

"I love you" She says, for the third time that day.

He will never get tired of hearing her say it.

He kisses her lips softly, nuzzles his nose against hers and lays his head back at the pillow.

"Love you to" He says and she smiles up at him.

She cuddles up against him and make a content noise.

"I wish we could stay like this forever" She tells him and sighs.

He agrees as he starts slipping his fingers through her hair.

"I'm scared, Damon" She unexpectedly says and he sits up and looks down at her.

"Of what?" He asks and she sits up with him.

"Klaus." She simply answers and he sighs tiredly.

"We'll deal with it." He says confident.

She takes a breath and sets her eyes in him.

"You know that it's not that easy."

Her eyes shining in the dimming light, he can't take his away from her.

It literally hurts to look at her in that moment, knowing that she's right.

Knowing that it won't be easy, that nothing ever is for them.

That this blissfulness they've been living in has to end at some point.

An ending that is coming closer for each minute that passes.

He pulls away from her gaze and kisses her forehead.

"Let's not think about it now, it will be plenty of time to do that later."

She closes her eyes and a single tear escapes.

She doesn't want to think about it, but she can't help it.

"I can't lose you." She whispers into the darkness.

He lays his arm around her and kisses her nose gently.

"You won't" He whispers.

"I Promise." He adds.

"You can't make a promise like that." She says and reaches for his hand.

He doesn't respond to that, and she doesn't say anything more either.

She just clings to him, her hand desperately holding onto his and her lips inches from his cold skin.

"Give me your blood" She suddenly blurts out.

"What?" He whispers, his eyes filled with shock and emotion.

"I want to be a vampire." She tells him determined and he rolls over to look her in the eyes.

"Where is this coming from?" He asks her and at the same time he let's go of her hand.

"I've thought this through." She says.

"This is what I want. And if Klaus comes tomorrow and kills me, I will come back to be with you."

He doesn't say anything.

"And if he doesn't kill me, I still want to become a vampire."

"He won't kill you if you're human." He states, his voice emotionless.

"I want to be with you." She says and smiles at him.

"You want kids." He doesn't say it like a question, it's a statement.

"I want _you._" She whispers and strokes his cheek.

"That won't be enough for you." He whispers back surely.

"It will." She says, with an angrily undertone.

She knows he will. This is her life, her choice.

"I promise." She says then.

"You can't make a promise like that." He mirrors her words from before.

Her response is to kiss him.

"I can."

He shakes his head.

"Damon…" She pleads with her eyes.

"This is what I want."

His eyes soften when she kisses him again. She can tell that his warming up to the idea.

And that's all she needs for right now.

She knows her decision is the right one.

Because she knows she wants to be with him forever.

_His type of forever._

**_-fin_**


End file.
